MARGIE AND MICHAEL
(A Screenplay)
INT. CORPORATE SEMINAR ROOM
We are in a corporate seminar room. About 20 stock broker/salesmen types, both men and women, sit in several rows of chairs listening with various degrees of intensity to DR. MARGIE WARSHAVSKY, corporate psychologist. Some are bored, others mildly interested, some indifferent. MARGIE, late 20's, is clearly brilliant and effective, but not the height of feminine attractiveness. Behind the horn-rimmed glasses there is a pretty face of sorts, but her efficient prim business suit kills off any hint of sexuality. She's thin, mousy, with slightly hunched shoulders. You can't tell if there is any sort of sexy figure there. She speaks with a slightly irritating high-pitched whine and is filled with nervous energy. She has just finished handing out the results of the program to everyone in the seminar.
MARGIE
Ladies and gentlemen, you are the cutting-edge of the future of sales in the investment industry. In these last few weeks we have transformed how Schuller Investments sells and markets its services. By using the latest psychological profiling technology and integrating it with the most advanced concepts in human potential research, we have seen increased sales results like none other. Take a look at your sales, ladies and gentleman. That means more money for each and everyone of you and for Schuller Investments. You should take pride in your accomplishment.
cUT TO:
INT. Office of the board of directors
In the Office of the Board of Directors five corporate executives sit around the conference table. Clearly the Chief Executive is JONATHAN MEHLINGER. He is 40ish, blonde, athletic, intelligent looking and very handsome - with a passing resemblance to William Hurt. They are watching a bank of TV monitors. On the monitors we watch various shots of MARGIE as she gives her seminar. Throughout the scene, we hear her voice droning in the background, and watch her looking awkward, dropping items, bending over to pick them up, etc.
executive #1
A 25 per cent increase in sales for the last quarter.
EXECUTIVE #2
Average sales contract over $100,000. That has never happened before.
JONATHAN
Hmm. Very impressive.
EXECUTIVE #3
If this program was applied throughout the entire company and we saw similar sales growth, we estimated a quarter of a billion dollars increase in annual net income.
JONATHAN
Very interesting.
EXECUTIVE #4
Generally, pilot programs produce better results in the beginning. But even if we cut our projections in half we would still have record growth.
JONATHAN
Does any other brokerage house have this?
EXECUTIVE #1
No, as far as we know we're the only ones.
JONATHAN
Where did you find this?
EXECUTIVE #1
Well, we did a lot of research on what was going on in the universities. And I found this paper in the Journal of ... Something or ...(He holds up a paper)... on the psychology of sales management... by whatever her name is. She was a graduate student Harvard. About a year ago she and a friend started a little management consulting firm. This is their first real job.
JONATHAN
And what's our relationship?
eXECUTIVE #4
Everyone who has taken the program has signed a confidentiality statement. And our contract with her is proprietary. As long as we want to renew, it's our exclusive.
JONATHAN
I like what I'm hearing. How much did we pay her?
executive #3
Enough to keep her and her friends very happy... and totally insignificant to us. In other words...
EXECUTIVE #4
... we own her.
JONATHAN
Excellent. Do you think she knows what she has there?
ExecUTIVE #4
(Looking at Margie on the screens)
I doubt it. She is a funny looking thing though.
JONATHAN punches the intercom of his phone to call his secretary. Then turns to one of executives.
jONATHAN
What's her name?
eXECUTIVE #4
Doctor... Doctor... War something.
eXECUTIVE #1
(Looking at his notes)
Doctor E.Margaret Warshavsky of Management Potential, Inc.
JONATHAN
(Into the intercom)
Janice, I want to see Dr.E. Margaret Warshavsky in my office tomorrow morning.
JANICE
(Voice from the Intercom)
Yes, sir.
EXECUTIVE #1
We could buy the program cheap right now and release it as a software package.
JONATHAN
No... First we develop our own management and sales force. Eventually word will leak out. By then it will be too late. Then we can release the software as secondary income source. Time is of the essence.
JONATHAN turns back to the executives a charming but devilish smile on his face, as MARGIE's image continues to speak and flounder on the screen.
JONATHAN (cont'd)
Gentlemen, prepare for battle... Schuller Investments is about to conquer Wall Street.
CUT TO:
INT. CORPORATE SEMINAR ROOM
MARGIE finishes up the last few lines of her seminar.
MARGIE
Ladies and Gentlemen I would like to thank you for attending the Management Potential workshop.
Tepid applause from the audience. Everyone quickly gets up and begins to leave. Some hurry right out the door. Others file past MARGIE giving her the most cursory thanks and congratulations. Clearly they all find her awkward to talk to. Likewise MARGIE is flustered by both the compliments and the people ignoring her. Throughout she tries to organize her papers. As the crowd thins a wimpy looking man stands in the background. Eventually he approachs her.
Wimpy man
Uh... Doctor Warshavsky?
MARGIE
Yes.
Wimpy man
Umm. I just wanted to thank you for the workshop. It was great.
MARGIE
Why thank you.
Wimpy man
I mean before this my sales were terrible. My manager was threatening to fire me. And now...
He waves the papers with his sales results in his hand.
WIMPY MAN (cont'd)
Suddenly I'm one of the best salesmen in the company.
MARGIE
That's great.
A moment of awkward silence. The WIMPY MAN shuffles. It is clear he wants to ask something else. Even MARGIE picks up the vibe that there is a little more going on here.
WIMPY MAN
Umm... Dr. Warshavsky...
MARGIE
Yes.
WIMPY MAN
Do you drink coffee?
MARGIE
No. I avoid caffeine. Did you know there was an article in November issue of the Journal of the American Society of Medicine that only 200 milligrams of caffeine daily can cause lesions in the livers of mice and after only 6 months... I only drink herbal teas.
WIMPY MAN
Oh, I see. Thank you. Goodbye.
The WIMPY MAN leaves and MARGIE is alone in the seminar room. She finishes dumping her papers into her briefcase.
MARGIE
(Talking to herself angrily)
You idiot. He was asking you for a date - not whether you really liked coffee. A date, a real date.(Making fun of herself) Caffeine causes lesions in the livers of mice. Jeez..
She picks up her briefcase and begins to leave and hesitates for a moment. Pats down her grey business suit, straightens her glasses.
MARGIE (cont'd)
I can do better anyway.
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL RESOURCES OFFICE
The screen is filled with erotic images of bikini clad women. We are watching a close-up of a sexpage off the Internet. The camera pulls back to reveal MICHAEL Mason engrossed clicking on various parts of the anatomy on the screen. MICHAEL, late 20's, is sitting in the middle of a small cramped chaotic office space, overflowing with books, papers and computer manuals. These are the offices of Management Potential Resources, the company that he and MARGIE founded a year ago. MICHAEL is the ultimate computer geek, slightly overweight, thick glasses, longish and bushy hair. His dress is computer wonk mode, black pants, white shirts with pens in the shirt pocket attached to a plastic holder.
Other characters in the scene include BETTY Woodruff, the business manger and third partner in the company. BETTY is a little older, mid 30's. She is a little plump (she's had two children after all). She's lively with a down-to-Earth manner, knowing the ins and outs of running a small business.
Two other members of the club include JASON, late 20's, a general office worker and erstwhile programmer. He has a slightly effeminate manner that would imply that perhaps he's gay. And finally there's ALLISON, who as general receptionist and secretary is pert, pretty and despite being another 20 something knows a fair amount about the world.
MARGIE enters. Everyone pauses for a moment to take a quick look at her before going back to their tasks. MARGIE walks over to BETTY.
BETTY
Well, what happened?
MARGIE
Done. Finished. It's over.
BETTY
(Obviously fishing for more of a response)
Well... how did it go?
MARGIE
Okay, I guess. I think we could have improved the Q potential response questions. That might have changed the final profiles a bit. We're going to have to work on that.
BETTY
(Still not satisfied)
Did anybody say anything?
MARGIE
No. But some guy tried to pick me up... I think.
BETTY
(Picking up a piece of paper and smiling)
John Mehlinger's office called — The King of Schuller Investments. You're to be at his office at noon. He wants to discuss a company wide program.
MARGIE
What?
BETTY
That's all the lady said.
MARGIE
(Incredulously)
A company wide program. What else did they say?
BETTY
That's it. You'll just have to find out tomorrow what that means.
At this news MICHAEL, JASON and ALLISON look up from what they are doing. MICHAEL gets up from his computer, comes over to BETTY and looks at the ragged scrap of paper. There's nothing really on it.
MICHAEL
A company wide program?
BETTY nods her head. MARGIE and MICHAEL look at each other in disbelief.
MICHAEL
A company wide program!
MARGIE
A company wide program.!!!
Suddenly MARGIE and MICHAEL break out into wild shouts and hoots, actually doing a little jig of sorts in the office. Of course, being who they are their celebratory dance is mostly awkward flailing arms and spastic movements. JASON and ALLISON look up, in disbelief that they are witnessing the ultimate in uncool dorkiness.
BETTY
You know what this means.
JASON
That we can get paid this week.
ALLISON
That they won't turn off the phones.
BETTY
And we can stay open for another month.
MARGIE
(In mock preacher attitude)
HALLELUJAH!!!
MICHAEL
Praise the Lord.
BETTY
This could be the beginning of something very big.
MICHAEL
Alright. Let's celebrate. Company holiday. Company holiday.
JASON and ALLISON are only slightly perplexed having seen many odd things around this office. So they chime in like little kids.
JASON AND ALLISON
Company holiday, company holiday.
MARGIE
Yeah, it s a beautiful Spring afternoon. Let's everyone take off early.
JASON and ALLISON immediately start getting ready to leave, as MARGIE and MICHAEL begin to cool down from their excitement.
MICHAEL
Hey, Marge, what are you going to do?
MARGIE
I don't know, I don't have any plans. I was going to work on the new stats.
MICHAEL
Oh, forget it. Have you seen the new Prud'hon exhibit at the Met?
MARGIE
(getting excited)
No... you mean that exhibit built around the beginning of early French Romanticism. He's the guy who did the first paintings of Napoleon Bonaparte and Josephine. I read about it in the Sunday Times.
MICHAEL
Yup, that's the one.
MARGIE
Oh wow, way cool. I'd love to see it.
MICHAEL
Okay, great. Let's go.
JASON turns to ALLISON shaking his head.
JASOn
What are you going to do?
ALLSION
Dunno. Probably Veg.
JASON
They're doing back to back showings of Rocky III, IV and V at the 8th Street Cinema.
ALLSION
Yeah. Now that sounds raz.
JASON
Wanna go?
ALLSION
Sure.
MARGIE
(To Betty)
Want to go with us to the museum with us?
BETTY
No thanks. I'll take the time to play with the kids after school. Some of that quality parent time type stuff But you guys go ahead and enjoy yourselves.
INT. metropolitan museum of art
The scene is one of the great halls of art at the Met. MARGIE and MICHAEL are strolling through the exhibit, looking, gesticulating, often more wrapped up in what they are saying then actually looking at the art. We're catching up to them in mid-conversation.
MICHAEL
The a priori forms of Kant do have a direct relationship to what is great art.
MARGIE
Oh, give me a break...
MICHAEL
As do the Platonic Forms.
MARGIE
And where does a concept as abstract as the Absolute Good have anything to do with how good Prud'hon or Rembrandt or Picasso for that matter move a brush around a canvas. You're so lame.
MICHAEL
There is an intuitive sense of Absolute Beauty, it is the inherent aspect of the Universe that we are a part of that let's us know what is beautiful. Are you a complete relativist.You don't think they're is anything that is beautiful across all cultural boundaries?
MARGIE
Of course, I do. But you can't go around pigeon-holing the nature of beauty into such strict forms. Look, how can Picasso fit into this. He is the breakdown of those forms that are the Absolute.
MICHAEL
Then how would you define such beauty?
MARGIE
The experience of the sublime is beyond our limited abilities to rationalize it. I mean look at what Nietzsche said. It is the synthesis between Appollian and the Dionysian that finally...
MARGIE wanders off as MICHAEL hesitates to look at something. The camera follows MARGIE as MICHAEL is left behind.
MICHAEL (O.S)
Oh my god, is that beautiful.
MARGIE
(Interrupting her train of thought)
What's so beautiful?
MARGIE turns around and sees MICHAEL apparently staring at a large canvas, MARGIE comes over to MICHAEL and cocks her head to absorb what MICHAEL is staring at. As MARGIE gazes at the painting she's failing to notice the obvious - the two beautiful tall blonde women, who are standing in front of the art.
margie
It's okay, but it's not my favorite piece
MICHAEL
It's so beautiful. I ache.
margie
What?
MICHAEL
I want them so badly.
Finally MARGIE realizes that MICHAEL is moaning over the beautiful women.
margie
(Whispering intemsely so as not to be overheard)
My god, you're pathetic. You're just like every other man I know. Throw a tall blonde in front of them and they just wither and drool.
MICHAEL
I don't care. I'm in love, desperately, hopelessly in love. I could die right now and go to Heaven.
margie
No, you're not in love. The moment we walk into another gallery, you will see another beautiful women and you will be in love with her.
MICHAEL
Maybe so. But for now I'm in love with them. Both of them.
margie
Michael, be realistic. They're not really your type. Besides they look kind of vacuous and empty to me.
MICHAEL
Perfect. Dumb and beautiful. The way I like them.
margie
You're a male chauvinist pig. Just like every other man.
MICHAEL
I know, I know.
MARGIE takes MICHAEL's head and directs it to another part of the gallery. There in front of another painting is a lone women, rather plump, glasses but with a sweet face.
MARGIE
Now there is a lovely looking lady. She seems quite intelligent. I bet she's a striking conversationalist. Into a lot of interesting things.
As MARGIE talks, MICHAEL moves his head back to the blondes. MARGIE, still holding MICHAEL's head, forces it back to the plump woman.
MARGIE (cont'd)
She probably would make somebody a wonderful, supportive wife. There is your future. The road to happiness.
MICHAEL forces his head back to the blondes.
MICHAEL
I'll settle for misery.
Two tall, handsome, well-tanned men, dressed in chic Italian designed wardrobes walk over to the blondes. They are obviously together and walk away.
MARGIE
See, that's what that kind of woman wants - shallow superficial good looks. You deserve better. A woman who would love you for who you truly are.
MICHAEL is momentarily dejected. Then perks up.
MICHAEL
Hey would you like to get something to eat?
MARGIE
Yeah, I didn't even get a chance for lunch I'm starved.
MICHAEL
I've got some food still in my apartment. Once the deal comes through we can go to the Four Seasons.
MARGIE
Great. But until then...
MICHAEL
Cafe Michael.
EXT. THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART - DAY
MARGIE and MICHAEL are running down the stairs of the MET still arguing over arcane philosophical minutiae.
MARGIE
...but if Wittgenstein was right than all of your ideas about the Absolute Beauty are out the window. You can't have you're Wittgenstein and Plato too.
Michael
Yeah, but you're limiting the way you think by creating false dichotomies between cultures and languages that are so radically different when the underlying spirit is so elegantly and obviously unified.
MARGIE
Oh right, major new age malarkey.
They reach Fifth Avenue and hail a cab as they continue their debate.
INT. INSIDE TAXI - DAY
They tumble into taxi, still excited about their conversation.
MICHAEL
(To the cab driver)
85th Street and Amsterdam Avenue, please.
(Back to MARGIE)
And that's always been your problem, giving precedence to the Apollonian intellectuality instead of the joys of the flesh a la Dionysius.
The Taxi Driver notices MARGIE's and MICHAEL's ebullience as they continue their discourse.
TAXI DRIVER
Hurray for Dionysius.
MICHAEL
See even the taxi driver agrees with me
TAXI DRIVER
It's such beautiful day. The flowers are blooming. Yes, it is much as Krishna would like it. Beautiful flute music and flowers. Young lovers like yourselves should enjoy themselves and not to bicker...
MaRGIE
Another philosopher...Now hold on here. Mister, Mister...(looking at the hack licence on the dashboard) Harimuti. Just one minute here. We're not lovers. We're not a couple. We just happen to be friends.
TAXI DRIVER
Ah, I see. Very nice.
MICHAEL
Oh no, we're not lovers. Not at all.
MICHAEL playfully tickles her.
MARGIE
Cut that out.
TAXI DRIVER
Not lovers. I see very good. Very good.
MARGIE
No we're not. Michael stop that. Stop that you creep.
MICHAEL continues being an idiot and MARGIE slaps back at him.
CUT TO:
INT. MICHAEL'S apartment -EARLY EVENING
A view of MICHAEL's apartment. It is small, cramped and a picture of total chaos, mess and disarray. Books and magazines are everywhere, clothes are left about. A computer is constantly on. Dishes are piled in the sink. A key is heard in the door, it opens and MICHAEL enters followed by MARGIE.
MARGIE
I thought you said you were going to get organized. This is disgusting In fact, it's even more than gross. I think its condemnable.
Michael
Condemnable? That's a word. At least I'm not an anal retentive prisspuss.
MARGIE
Prisspuss? I'm not a prisspuss. What's a prisspuss?
Michael
A generic comment. I wasn't referring to you. My, my... a might sensitive aren't we?
MARGIE
No, not at all. But I believe in principles. There's a value to quality, organization and (Picking up some old, ragged clothes, so she can sit down on the couch)... cleanliness... It's right next to Godliness... or so I thought.
MICHAEL goes into the kitchen and starts moving around the pots and pans in preparation to cook. MARGIE rummages around through a pile of magazines and finds old copies of Penthouse and Hustler. Ever inquisitive MARGIE leafs through it, eyes wide in amazement.
MARGIE (cont'd)
And you're a pervert too. Look at this stuff. It's degrading and barbaric.
Michael
All the models are over 18. Doing of it of their own free will.
MARGIE
Is this what you want?
Michael
Frankly? Yes.
MARGIE
The exploitation of naive women, who have little choice but to submit to patriarchal economic and financial exploitation.
MARGIE enters the kitchen, vaguely watching MICHAEL cook, occasionally handing him ingredients as they continue their conversation.
MARGIE (cont'd)
This is food? (Back to the debate) We are entering a new age of where the feminine and masculine principles will be balanced. There will be no need for pornography.
Michael
Au contraire... pornography, as you call it, is a cultural phenomenon that has validated its credibility since the beginning of time. Erotic art existed thousands of years ago. When the first caveman figured out how to draw a stick figure, guess what he was drawing, big breasts, big hips... and dirty pictures will exist ten thousand years in the future. Praise the Lord.
MARGIE
(Opening the refrigerator)
I know Princess Leai gets laid. Do you have anything to nosh?
Michael
We are only beginning to emancipate ourselves from puritanical strictures of a peculiarly American malaise. Can you hand me the Oregano?
MARGIE
Feminism had just begin to break the shackles of a sick paternal society, and now we are dealing with a recidivism. Don't put in that much garlic. And you're oil is too hot, you'll burn the onions.
Michael
There are absolutes, culturally as well metaphysically... and that will never change.
MICHAEL tastes the concoction.
MICHAEL (cont'd)
Needs a bit more salt.
He lets MARGIE try it.
MARGIE
Just a touch.
MICHAEL
And now for the secret ingredient. Shoo... (Waves MARGIE away.)
FADE TO:
INT. MICHAEL'S APARTMENT - A LITTLE LATER
MARGIE are MICHAEL sitting at a tiny table about to eat their dinner. Their plates are piled high with a grey goo. MARGIE looks at the food quite suspiciously.
mARGIE
What do you call this?
MICHAEL
Tuna glop. It's my masterpiece. Sauteed vegetables, hot tuna fish and cream of mushroom soup.
mARGIE
Yuck...
MICHAEL
Try it.
MARGIE tries the food.
mARGIE
Hmm. Not bad.
MICHAEL
Here. Have a little wine with it.
MICHAEL pours MARGIE some wine.
mARGIE
Seriously Michael, haven't you thought about your future. How long can you go on playing out these adolescent games. I mean every day at the office I'm embarrassed to go over to your computer. I'm afraid you've left one of your obscene pictures you've downloaded from the Internet on.
MICHAEL
It wasn't such a bad picture. There's much worse.
mARGIE
(whining a bit)
Michael...
MICHAEL
(Getting a little serious)
I don't know. I like them. It's male. You quest for the most beautiful women you can imagine. Survival of the fittest. Maybe it's just ego...just to be able to say that you're most powerful goat on the mountain. It's like it's wired into the biology. Genetic engineering to lust for the best. And relationships? Yes, maybe one day.
mARGIE
But Michael, all those women you lust for... they probably won't even look at you. There are plenty of real opportunities that come your way all the time. What happened to Alice?
MICHAEL
Too fat.
mARGIE
Come on. You're no scrawny chicken yourself.(Michael shrugs and Margie shakes her head)... and what ever happened to Martha. She was a lovely lady.
MICHAEL
Too short.
mARGIE
Men.... How did the species survive this long? It's amazing any procreation happens at all.
MICHAEL
It's mostly by accident. And what about you? When are you going to settle down and get married, do your children's thing?
mARGIE
That will come. I'm willing to be patient. I'm waiting for the right situation to develop.
MICHAEL
You're saving yourself.
mARGIE
Yes I am. For true love.
MICHAEL
You're no different from me. You don't want to settle for less. It's just that what you think you want is different.
mARGIE
I don't think so.
MICHAEL
Relationships are a matter of trading. It's like trading baseball cards. If people are into looks, they quietly rate each other. They trade their looks for yours. And that's why you generally see good looking people together. Simple commerce. I'll trade my cute face and big breasts for your big biceps. It's that simple. Most people trade in their own league. There's the good looking league. There's the brainy league. Then it gets more complicated. Sometimes you'll trade those breasts for money and security. If that's what you need at the moment.
MARGIE
So in your world view there's no such thing as love or romance.
MICHAEL
Oh those are some nice emotions we paint on top of everything to convince us that it's not true. Love just helps us hide the illusion of how much we are trading. I'll trade my Willie Mays for your Carl Yastrezmski. In my case I'm trying to find some one who is willing to trade a great body for my brains. It may be rare but they do exist.
MARGIE
But maybe you'll forgive me if I remain an old-fashioned romantic. I'm waiting for true love.
MICHAEL
Saving yourself for you knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet and carry you
off to the beautiful castle in Connecticut.
MARGIE
I have my principles.
MICHAEL
Principles will make you an old maid.
mARGIE
I'll wait.. and I'll find true love. And you'll die a cynical old soul who married some young creature who turned into old fat hag.
MICHAEL
Would you like to make a little wager on who turns out happier?
mARGIE
No.
fadE OUT.
EXT. COLUMBUS AVE.n New York - NIGHT
MARGIE is walking down Columbus Ave. back to her apartment. It's a beautiful spring night. MARGIE, appearing quite mousy, wistfully looks at all the couples strolling down the avenue. There are several young good looking couples. One couple kisses passionately. MARGIE sees a sweet looking elderly couple ambling down the street, arms around each other. She even sees a little boy and girl walking together hand in hand. It seems that just about everybody has that special someone, except MARGIE.
fADE OUT.
INT. MARgie's apartment - night
MARGIE's apartment is the epitome of order and cleanliness. It's a small one-bedroom, but it is the kind of apartment that even a cockroach wouldn't dare to enter uninvited. MARGIE unlocks the door and enters. She comes over to the answering machine. The machine is flashing a number one. She's actually got a message...
MARGIE
Yes!
She pushes the button, the machine rewinds and begins to play.
ANSWERING MACHINE
Hey Margie. It's me... Mom.
MARGIE's posture droops in disappointment. MARGIE starts putting her things away and starts getting ready for bed as she listens to her mother's message.
MOM
So how did it go today? Was the seminar a big hit? I'm sure it was. You're so bright. You father would have been so proud, God rest his soul. You know ever since you first got into Harvard your father couldn't stop beaming. You made him very happy. Ah, but those were the good days. Now I'm all alone in a big house. You and your brother gone, it's so empty. Maybe I should move to Florida? Oh so do you have a boyfriend? Oh, I know I shouldn't ask. And, oh by the way, how's Michael? He is very bright. You know Margie, being too choosy can make you unhappy. You can find a good man who maybe isn't the best looking. You know you father wasn't exactly Cary Grant. Oh well, I guess I should go. Are you eating enough? You know you shouldn't get to skinny. Men like women with some meat on their bones. I know. Oh well, too ta loo. Call your old mother now before I die. Goodbye.
As Margie listens to the drone of her mother's voice, we watch her put her briefcase away. Her jacket. She gets a glass of water and swallows a few vitamins. In her bedroom she had donned a very sensible flannel nightgown. She brushes her teeth assiduously, and of course, flosses
Her bedroom is as precise as every other part of her life, right to the neat and well-groomed teddybear that lies near her pillow. As her Mother finishes she climbs into bed, crawls under the covers, props the pillow behind her and picks up The Bothers Karamazov. She can't really read and so picks up the remote and turns on the TV on her dresser. It flickers to life and she finds an old romantic flick, such as It Happen One Night, with Cary Grant no less. She quickly becomes drowsy and drifts off to sleep.
FADE TO BLACK:
INT. THE WAITING ROOM OUTSIDE J.MEHLINGER's OFFICE. - DAY
MARGIE arrives looking all prim and proper. She pushes back her hair and straightens her glasses. JANICE, Mr. MEHLINGER's secretary is behind her desk.
JANICE
Can I help you?
MARGIE
Yes, I'm Dr.Warshavsky.
JANICE
Excellent. Mr. Mehlinger is on a conference call. He'll be with you in a few moments. Please have a seat.
MARGIE sits down and looks around the waiting room. She clearly is uncomfortable: fidgeting and nervously patting her skirt and her hair. After a moment JANICE responds to a signal on her intercom.
JANICE
Mr. Mehlinger will see you now.
MARGIE get up and walks to the desk.
MARGIE
Thank you.
She walks toward the oak paneled door leading to Mr. Mehlinger's office.
CUT TO:
INT. JONATHAN MEHLINGER'S OFFICE - DAY
JONATHAN's office is the ultimate in corporate luxury. Behind him, an expansive set of windows looking down on New York's harbor. JONATHAN himself is extremely well dressed, brimming with charm and self-confidence. And bearing a striking resemblance to William Hurt.
JONATHAN
Come in. Have a seat.
MARGIE's eyes widen, nostrils even flare slightly as she sees a man far more attractive than she might have ever imagined.
JONATHAN
Can I get you anything? Coffee, tea.
MARGIE
No. I'm just fine. Thank you.
She sits down as does JONATHAN.
JONATHAN
And how are you today?
MARGIE
Just fine.
JONATHAN
Well, Dr., Warshavsky I must say I am duly impressed. The sales figures for everyone
who took the seminar are extraordinary. I wanted to meet the genius behind the program.
MARGIE
Oh, really. Mr. Mehlinger. It wasn't anything.
JONATHAN
First, please call me Jonathan.
(He flashes a devastatingly winning smile.)
And let me be the judge of that. This is by far and away the most dramatic increase in sales for any targeted group in the history of the company. Dr. Warshavsky, can you tell me why these people are doing so well.
Forgetting to offer JONATHAN the curtesy to call her "Margie," she continues.
MARGIE
Quite simple really. We do an extensive intake of attitudes and philosophies that the salesmen hold. Then with a small video camera and microphone we digitally record the person. Then cross reference all the psychological and physical data with standard norms for that type of individual. Those norms are based on personality models that are well-accepted in academia. Then we come up with a specific prescription of how a broker can change to reach that standard. We try to include everything — what they say, mannerisms, clothes, how one speaks, posture, and on and on. We create an ideal image of that person based on who they are and how we know audiences respond to that type.
JONATHAN
A feedback loop essentially, and then one can practice until the goal is reached. Behavior modification with a specific ideal in mind. A touch of Skinner mixed with a bit of Bateson.
Impressed that JONATHAN is so bright as to catch on so quickly.
MARGIE
I'm impressed.
JONATHAN
I studied some psychology in college.
MARGIE
We track performance and training up until the broker conforms to their own best self-image.
JONATHAN
A program that is universal yet can be immediately customizes itself to the individual.
MARGIE
Yes.
JONATHAN
Brilliant. Well, let's talk business. As you probably have guessed we want to you to begin to expand the program as soon as possible until it is applied to the entire company. We want to keep the material confidential and proprietary to Schuller Investments. For that privilege we will increase you fees by 20 per cent immediately. When and if the program is fully implemented we will contribute a 15 per cent bonus.
JONATHAN lets the impact of what he has said to sink in. But MARGIE is barely reacting. She is transfixed looking at JONATHAN's deep blue eyes. She's probably thinking that maybe he looks more like Robert Redford than William Hurt.
JONATHAN
Dr. Warshavsky. Did you get that?
Coming out of her daze.
MARGIE
Oh, yes, company wide and 20 per cent increase.
JONATHAN
Acceptable? At least in principle?
MARGIE
Well, yes I guess so. I have my partners to consult. But, yeah, I think I can talk them into it.
JONATHAN
So we have a deal. I'll have our lawyers draft an agreement for you and your friends to review.. And then I'll have Lou Orinson call you to set up a few meetings with our managers to go over implementation procedures and costs.
MARGIE
(Dumbfounded)
Yes. Sure. Whatever.
The intercom rings. JONATHAN responds.
JANICE (O.S.)
(Filtered)
Melanie is here. She arrived a little early for lunch.
JONATHAN
Fine. Tell her I'll be right out.
(JONATHAN rises)
Well. Dr.Warshavsky it will be a pleasure working together.
JONATHAN shakes MARGIE's hand and escorts her to the door.
INT. RECEPTION AREA
In the reception area is now dominated by MELANIE, a tall, beautiful, statuesque women, glamorous and sophisticated.
JONATHAN
Melanie.
JONATHAN goes over to MELANIE and gives her a kiss.
MELANIE
Oh Jonathan you look great. I'm starving I didn't have a chance to have breakfast. I thought I'd bop over a little early for lunch.
JONATHAN
Melanie, I'd like you to meet Dr. Warshavsky, she's our corporate psychologist. And forgive me, Dr. Warshavsky but I did do a little research on you first. I know you just got your Ph.D. from Harvard. Melanie just got her doctorate from Yale.
MARGIE
(Not exactly pleased)
Oh really.
JONATHAN
Top of her class in economics. Dr. Anderson I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Warshavsky.
MELANIE
Oh stop. Jonathan, you're embarrassing me.
JONATHAN
I'm very proud.
MELANIE turns to MARGIE
meLANIE
It's a pleasure to meet you.
MARGIE
Me too.
JONATHAN
Well, we're off to lunch. Doctor, I'm looking forward. Keep up the good work.
JONATHAN and MELANIE exit arm in arm. MARGIE stands around awkwardly, looking eventually over to JANICE.
FADE OUT.
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL Resources OFFICE - LATER THAT DAY
MARGIE stumbles into the office. BETTY is alone, the rest of the gang is out. MARGIE waves to BETTY to come over as she collapses in her chair behind her desk.
BETTY
How did it go?
BETTY notices that MARGIE is pale and breathing hard.
BETTY (cont'd)
Are you okay?
MARGIE
Oh fine, no problem.
BETTY
Then what's wrong?
MARGIE
Nothing... they want to do a company wide program. Twenty percent increase in fees...and he's gorgeous.
BETTY
Who?
MARGIE
Jonathan
BETTY
Who's Jonathan?
MARGIE
Mehlinger.
BETTY
Jonathan Mehlinger. The president of Schuller Investments?
MARGIE nods her head.
bETTY (cont'd)
What's wrong with you? Are you in love?
Again MARGIE meekly nods her head.
Betty (cont'd)
Oh come on. You're not in love. You'll get over it in the morning. (Leaning into her and asking excitedly, like girls gossiping.)So tell me what does he look like.
MARGIE
Gorgeous. He looks just like William Hurt. Tall, and blonde and blue eyes. Well, maybe a little like Robert Redford, or some sort of crossover thing between the two - RedHurt.
Betty
Wow, sounds delicious.
MARGIE
Yeah, but he has a girlfriend
Betty
So, maybe he's not in love with her.
MARGIE
Oh, he's in love all right.
Betty
How do you know?
MARGIE
She's got a Ph.D from Yale and big breasts. It's not fair. I thought brains and breasts were antithetical. You're suppose to have one or the other.
Betty
Oh come on. You don't really believe that.
MARGIE
No...
Betty
(Playing along with the joke)
But you know I've had to deal with the fact that you're smarter than me, but then again...
BETTY looks down at her own ample bosom. MARGIE stares dismayed.
BETTY (cont'd)
Just kidding...
MARGIE
Of course, I know better... still. When it's 4:30 in the morning and I'm lying in bed alone... as usual... looking up at the ceiling, trying to take consolation in my big brain as my best companion, as usual...you sometimes wonder that maybe if I was just a little less smart and a teeny-weenie bigger.
BETTY
You don't think that men just judge you on the size of your breasts.
MARGIE
Sure there are other criteria. Some like long legs, others red-heads. What you tush looks like. Anyway if I had bigger everything and had a man I realize I'd probably be up at four in the morning staring at the ceiling because this big oaf next to me was keeping me up snoring like a hog.
BETTY
It's like a log. See you can't win. So there's no need to really fret.
MICHAEL saunters in an overweight kind of way, singing too himself.
MicHAEL
So what's up? What happened?
MARGIE
(Composing herself)
Implementation on the company wide program begins immediately. We start a new batch of recruits first thing tomorrow as the first step. And at a twenty percent increase in fees... and we are going to be rich.
MicHAEL
(Underreacting)
Ah, so we are about to commit commerce and sell our souls to the capitalist devils. So what is the chief pig Mehlinger really like?
MARGIE suddenly reacts with an uncharacteristic anger and lamely flings a handy computer manual at him.
MARGIE
You idiot. He's our meal ticket. Jonathan is okay. He's a good man.
MicHAEL
A good man? That's a phrase in the Margie Warshavsky lexicon. Good man? Tsk, tsk. Sounds like someone likes someone.
MARGIE
Get lost.
MicHAEL
Okay, okay. I'll go and get started on the new protocols for tomorrow.
MICHAEL leaves going off to his office.
MARGIE
God, he can be such a dork sometimes.
BETTY
I think you're showing a little bit of unwarranted passion here over our good man Mehlinger. Don't worry, by tomorrow morning it will pass. But in the meantime Margie, congratulations. We are going to make it. We gonna do it.
They embrace in celebration.
INT. CORPORATE SEMINAR ROOM
A new batch brokers are taking their places at the computers. MARGIE is instructing them.
MARGIE
You will find this analysis protocol actually self-explanatory. Just start the program and follow the directions. At one point the computer will ask you to take a series of photos...
JONATHAN enters the back of the room. His presence makes MARGIE stumble over her words momentarily.
MARGIE (cont'd)
...oh. Mr. Mehlinger, I mean Jonathan.
JONATHAN
I was just trying to do some research on our new program. I was hoping that if there was a computer free I might take your evaluation myself. I like learning first hand.
He flashes his heart-warming smile. MARGIE's heart is all a flutter.
MARGIE
Why, of course, please. There's a free computer station over there on the side.
JONATHAN
Thank you. Please continue.
MARGIE
As I was saying at one point the computer will ask to take a series of photos and voice analysis. Just look directly into the monitor and the cameras will record your image. And then speak naturally when prompted. The computer will handle the rest. Just answer all the questions honestly, relax and enjoy yourself. When your finished just hit "save" one more time and feel free to leave. We will collect the disks and have your results by tomorrow, Please begin.
All of the participants start working away including JONATHAN. MARGIE wanders around the room, monitoring, but too often secretly stealing glances over to JONATHAN. At one point the computer prompts the participants for their photographs. The different players, all types of people, primp for their photos, or speak into the computer mics, and then continue the questionnaire. Eventually one by one they leave. JONATHAN lingers and is one of the last to finish. He gets up to leave but first comes up to MARGIE. He hands her his floppy disk personally.
JONATHAN
Dr. Warshavsky. Very impressive. Very thorough. The more I look into this program the more I like it.
MARGIE
Uh, thank you.
JONATHAN
You know, I had an idea while taking the test.
MARGIE
Assessment, assessment. It's not a test.
JONATHAN
Assessment, I beg your pardon. But I thought that you could turn this into the ultimate dating service. Help people improve how they appear to the opposite sex. Make men more attractive to women and vice versa. You could make a fortune. Think about it. Work it up as a proposal and maybe I can get you some funding.
MARGIE
Uh...okay
JONATHAN
Great, see you around and keep up the good work.
JONATHAN leaves leaving MARGIE alone.
FADE TO:
INT. Management Potential Offices - DAY
MARGIE runs back into the office. Greets BETTY briefly goes to her desk, opens up her briefcase and pulls out a pile of computer disks.
BETTY
What's that?
MARGIE
Jonathan Mehlinger's disk. His life story. Everything you might want to know about a chief executive officer. He took the assessment, the whole thing from beginning to end.
BETTY
And what are you going to do with it?
MARGIE
Look at it.
BETTY
Isn't all the material suppose to confidential. Isn't that unethical?
MARGIE
(Realizing the compromising situation)
Yeah, I guess it is.
bETTY
Oh, hell. Let's look at it.
MARGIE
Great.
bETTY
You're sure he's a real dreamboat.
MARGIE
Certifiable.
MARGIE and BETTY insert the disk and boot up the program. They peruse through the results wide-eyed and gasping.
MARGIE (cont'd)
Oh my God. He's perfect. He does charity work on weekends with disadvantaged families. He gives away huge sums of money. He reads Shakespeare. He loves children and would like some of his own. He actually wants a family.
bETTY
And he's single...and look here, a Black Belt in Karate
MARGIE
And over here... he's not satisfied with his personal life... that means's....
BETTY
Look over here...
MARGIE aND BETTY
(Reading together)
He's still waiting to find the right woman.
MARGIE
That mean's Melanie's out. Yes.
BETTY
Come on. Let's look at the photo captures.
BETTY clicks a few keys and the computer begins to download a picture of JONATHAN.
BETTY (cont'd)
Oh my God. He is gorgeous.
MARGIE
I told you a crossbreed between John Hurt and Robert Redford.
BETTY
Amazing. Print, print.
BETTY presses a few more keys and the computer prints out a photo of JONATHAN that MARGIE pulls out of the printer gazing at it. Then she prints out the test results and looks it over.
MARGIE
He's perfect. I've seen thousands of these results back at Harvard... and this is the best overall score I have ever seen.
BETTY
Margie, take it easy. I mean, he's great...no doubt about it. But I think you may not want to get your hopes up to high. I don't think he's exactly your type.
MARGIE
(Defensively)
I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm just admiring a great assessment.
In the meantime MICHAEL has wandered out of his office to check out the commotion.
MICHAEL
What do we have here? Who's that?
BETTY
John Mehlinger himself.
MICHAEL
Don't we have some signed confidentiality agreement not to print this material out.
MARGIE
(Turning to MICHAEL)
Michael, Jonathan may want to do another business deal with us.
MICHAEL
Jonathan? First name basis. I'm impressed.
MARGIE
Quiet. Jonathan took the whole test today and loved it so much that he suggested we revamp the software so that it could be applied to men and women. You know the ultimate dating service. If we can work it up, he'll fund it.
MICHAEL
He'll probably rape us like any capitalistic pig would... but it is an interesting idea.
MARGIE
Can we do it?
MICHAEL
Hmmm... I don't see why not? It's basically the exact same program. Just change some of the hard data points and let it run. We have all the information we need from Berringer's work at Princeton.
MARGIE
How long?
MICHAEL
How long what?
MARGIE
To make the new assessment.
MICHAEL
If you do the psychological profiling... a week at most for a first draft.
MARGIE
Ladies and Gentleman... we are on our way.
INT. MARGIE'S apartment - night
It's evening and MARGIE is getting ready for bed. She's dressed again in her sensible flannel nightgown. She's in the bathroom brushing her teeth. She has propped the printed out photo of JONATHAN onto the shelf below the mirror. She looks at it wistfully as she brushes. When she finishes. She looks at herself in the mirror. What she sees is not encouraging — pale, thin listless hair, thick glasses and an unexciting figure. She attempts a few moves playing with her hair. But it all seems quite hopeless. She sighs and trudges over to her answering machine. A number "1" flashes in the window. She pushes it and as the machine drones on, she gets into bed and turns out the lights.
MOm
Hi Margie, did I tell you that you cousin Cindy is getting married. And she's only 21. She's marrying that Albert fellow, the computer programmer. You remember him. Michael and him talked for hours about C programming. They really liked each other. And Cindy's mother told me that he's making over $80,000 a year. That's not a bad salary to start a family with, don't you think...
Fade OUT.
INT. CORPORATE SEMINAR ROOM
A room full of new attendees are beginning their assessments and training. MARGIE is making the presentation.She is trying to sound inspirational.
MARGIE
Ladies and gentlemen you are about to start on a great voyage of transformation. If your are a poor salesman you will become average. If your are average you will become good. If you are good you will be great and the great will be extra great...
The attendees look at each other marvelling on just how badly she presents her material.
CUT TO:
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL OFFICES - DAY
MICHAEL is punching away at his computer. The screen is divided. One-half is filled with the lines of programming code that he is working on, the other is a flickering image of a sexy babe downloading from the Internet. He is whistling a little ditty: "Whistle while you work."
cUT TO:
INT. CORPORATE SEMINAR ROOM
The session is ending and everyone is streaming out into the hallway, paying little heed to MARGIE. For a moment she stands alone. Then she sees a group of execs passing by the doorway in the hall. JONATHAN is among them. She runs through the door.
cUT TO:
INT. Hallway outside corporate seminar room
A few feet down the hallway JONATHAN has stopped to confer with some other executives. MARGIE tries to wave. He doesn't see her. The group of execs start walking back towards MARGIE. She tries to smile but JONATHAN and the others walk passed her. She was totally ignored.
cUT TO:
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL OFFICES - NIGHT
MICHAEL and MARGIE are working assiduously on the new program.
miCHAEL
Hold on now. I'm trying to get it all in.(Types is some code.) You really think we can potentiate libido functioning?
maRGIE
Absolutely. All we need to do is create a three dimensional function, plotting the integral of Masterson's data against Smith and Reyeson.
miCHAEL
I don't know. We may be really pushing it here.
maRGIE
Don't think. It will scramble your brain too much. Just program, program. I'll think.
dISSOLVE TO:
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL OFFICES - DAY
MICHAEL finishes typing in a few strokes at his keyboard.
MICHAEL
Done. Another programming masterpiece. Brilliant.
MARGIE
It's done. It will work.
MICHAEL
Yup.
MARGIE
Betty, come over. It's done.
BETTY and MARGIE hover around the computer as though it's some new strange creature that they are afraid to touch.
Betty
Now what.... what do we do now?
Michael
Try it out.
MARGIE
Well, the first step is to run a test case. We have to see how effective it is and what kind of results we get.
MicHAEL
We need a guinea pig.
In the meantime MICHAEL has busily commenced picking his nose. Both MARGIE and BETTY look down at him in a moment of disgust. Simultaneously a thought occurs to both. They look back towards MICHAEL.
Betty
Impossible.
MARGIE
If we start with the hardest scenario, it would work with anybody.
Betty
We'll destroy the project before it even gets off the ground.
MARGIE
A scientist must be unflinching. Willing to face the harshest truth? Willing the face the risk of failure for the hope of success.
Betty
(Looking at Michael)
That's about the rawest piece of data I've ever seen.
MARGIE
Should we?
Betty
We should. (Turning to Michael, knowing that he's listening.) But he's such a barbarian.
MiCHAEL
(Tarzan like)
Me... Barbarian.
Betty
Michael, how would you like to be our first test subject.
MICHAEL looks up blissfully. He turns back to the computer, ready to try out the new program.
Michael
I'd love to. A matter of fact just what I was planning. Ladies, are we ready? No, go away for a bit. I'll need my privacy. This is a very intimate program. As Margie well knows. It'll take about an hour. Go get some coffee somewhere.
MICHAEL waves them off as he readies himself in front of the computer.
INT.PLAYGROUND - DAY
MARGIE and BETTY visit a nearby playground where BETTY's children, ages 4 and 7 are playing, supervised by their NANNY. The children spot BETTY and run over.
CHILDREN
Mommy, mommy...
BETTY
How are my little pumpkins.
General hugs and kisses. Awkwardly MARGIE tries on maternal friendliness,
mARGIE
And how is little Stephanie and little Paulie?
The kids respond indifferently, much as they might to an elderly aunt who pinches their cheeks. Their NANNY comes over.
NANNY
Good to see you here.
Betty
We had a few minutes free. And we thought we'd come by and check out the monsters
NANNY
Ah, they're doing just fine. (To the kids) Aren't you now?
CHILDREN
Mommy, can we go and play?
Betty
Sure, no need to hang out with us old folks.
The children run off.
BETTY (cont'd)
I should be home by six.
NaNNY
The children will have already eaten.
BETTY
Great.
BETTY and MARGIE find a bench to sit down on, as the NANNY goes off and keeps an eye on the children.
mARGIE
Betty... Are you happy?
BETTY observes MARGIE watching her children play and immediately picks up the drift of the question.
bETTY
(Trying to downplay her contentment)
Oh no, not really. Sure I have two wonderful kids...Steve's very successful and a great husband who really loves me and the family. Yeah, we have a big apartment. We travel....(Reflecting) Alright I'm content...it's not all that great... (More reflection) Okay, yeah I admit it I'm happy... really happy. But you can be happy being single... the freedom... the adventure...
mARGIE
...the boredom.
BETTY
You know Margie how much I really love both you and Michael.
Margie
Uh oh... it sounds like a sensitive speech.
BETTY
I've been watching you for the last few days. You've been obsessed like a maniac. And you know you have a little bit of compulsive personality disorder. That's why you're so good.
MARGIE
No, I don't. I just like to strive for the very best.
BETTY
That's nice, but you are a little crazy in the head...just a little.
MARGIE
Okay, what is it?
BETTY
I just don't want to see you get hurt.
MARGIE
How am I going to get hurt?
BETTY
Jonathan Mehlinger.
MARGIE
Oh come on. Do you think I really have a thing for Jonathan Mehlinger?
BETTY
Yes. No other reason in the world you could be this obsessed.
MARGIE
I'm not going to get hurt.
BETTY
Does he even know you exist?
MARGIE
Sure he does... (thinking about it) kind of. We did meet. He introduced me to Melanie.
BETTY
Margie, you're just not his type.
MARGIE has nothing to say.
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL OFFICES - DAY
MARGIE and BETTY return. MICHAEL is lounging back in his chair, He smiles when he seem them enter.
MiCHAEL
It's done. We will have the assessment in just a minute.
He pushes the 'enter' key on his computer. The printer starts whirring and several pages of data come pouring out. MARGIE takes it.
MaRGIE
Amazing...
MICHAEL
What's amazing?
MaRGIE
It's so accurate. It says you're fat, unappealing to almost all classes of women, overly intellectual and that you have body odor.
Betty
How does a computer know you have body odor?
MaRGIE
We programmed that in. It evaluates the nature of the body in regard to clothing. It can actually guess how clean you are and how often you change your underwear.
Betty
Incredible.
MaRGIE
Here comes the prescription.
The computer printer spits out another wad of papers. MARGIE looks it over.
MARGIE (cont'd)
I don't know. This looks pretty intimidating. Lots of push-ups and sit ups. No ice cream.
MICHAEL grabs the papers.
MICHAEL
Give it to me. It's nothing. I can do it. I programmed it.
MICHAEL peruses through the material making occasional grunts.
MiCHAEL (cont'd)
Forget it. It's too hard. No one could go through this regimen. It wouldn't be healthy. I'd probably die first.
BETTY now grabs the prescription.
BETTY
Body building. Aerobics, deodorant, new clothes, new topics of conversation, dance lessons.
MiCHAEL
This could be dangerous. Forget it.
MARGIE charges into MICHAEL's desk and pulls out his secret stash of erotic pictures. She waves the pile of pictures of beautiful naked women in front of him.
MARGIE
Here, this could all be yours. Each and every one of them. All your perverted little fantasies could come true.
MiCHAEL
(Softening)
Well, maybe I could, but...
MARGIE
The soft luscious flesh of a voluptuous blonds with big firm young breasts...
MiCHAEL
Okay, I'll try. Even if it is dangerous. All for the sake of science.
MARGIE AND BETTY
(Together)
Men... they're pathetic.
Betty
They're so simple.
MARGIE
Utterly one dimensional.
MiCHAEL
(Back to Tarzan)
Me barbarian... want women, give me women.
He grabs the stack of photos and jokingly tries to eat them in high dorky fashion.
BeTTY
(Shaking her head)
Do you think there's a chance?
MaRGIE
Sure, anything is possible. But first we have to go and do a control study. We need to create a base line so we can see just how bad MICHAEL is, so if there is any improvement in his appeal to the opposite sex we can statistically determine it.
MICHAEL
Sounds reasonable to me.
BETTY
And how do we do this?
MARGIE
Delaney's Bar.
cUT TO:
INT. DELANEY's BAR - afternoon
Delaney's Bar is an upscale establishment. There's a polished mahogany bar in the middle and booths along the wall. MARGIE, MICHAEL and BETTY sit down at a booth. At the bar are various patrons, including two beautiful and glamorous looking women.
MaRGIE
Now all you have to do is go up there and make some small talk. That's it.
MiCHAEL
I'm not very good at this sort of thing. I usually am humiliated.
MaRGIE
Perfect. That's exactly what we're looking for. Humiliation, rejection, your history of total failure with the opposite sex.
MICHAEL sheepishly wanders off to the bar. From the distance we watch MICHAEL trying to make contact with the beautiful women, who are trying their best to ignore him, BETTY and MARGIE watch from the safety of the booth.
Betty
Sad.
MaRGIE
Tragic.
BETTY
Utterly hopeless.
MaRGIE
A perfect starting point for our study. Base line zero.
MICHAEL makes one final foray and the two women get up and leave. MICHAEL shrugs back to the booth, defeated, his tail between his legs.
mICHAEL
Humiliated just like I predicted. Did you get that down...
MARGIE
Yup, base line zero. Makes the rest of the study really easy.
mICHAEL
I know, if we can get one girl to even talk to me, we'll have a hundred per cent improvement.
BeTTY
Oh come on. Cheer up. Things are going to get better.
maRGIE
All your dreams are going to come true. Tall blondes, long-legged redheads, brunettes who love to wrestle, raven haired beauties corseted in leather with whips.
miCHAEL
Yes, yes, we're gonna do it.
BETTY
That's the spirit. Onward and upward.
miCHAEL
Onward and upward.
THE FOLLOWING SCENES ARE A MONTAGE DEPICTING MICHAEL'S REGIME AND CHANGES
INT. GYm
Scenes of Michael working out. Clearly he is a klutz, dropping weights on the floor, clowning around and acting like a self-conscious twit.
INT. Department store
MARGIE and BETTY helping MICHAEL pick out new clothes. The ladies have the computer printout in their hands and they seem to be following the exact directions. Nothing really seems to fit right and looks generally ludicrous.
INT. ACTING CLASS
MICHAEL is seeing taking a combination of elocution and acting lessons.
INT. daNCE CLASS
MICHAEL clearly has two left feet as he attempts his first dance class.
INT. PLAYGROUND
MICHAEL tries to play basketball with some local kids. The street urchins fly all around him shooting baskets and leaving him in the dust.
INT. GYM
MICHAEL is taking boxing lessons. He tries to hide and is easily pushed down by his opponent.
INT. BARBer
MICHAEL is getting his hair cut with MARGIE and BETTY directing each snip according to the directions from the print out.
INT. OPTICIAN
MICHAEL is trying on contact lenses.
INT. BLOOMINGDALE's
MICHAEL is trying on new colognes from the pretty girls on the floor.
INT. GYM
MICHAEL is working out and getting better. He really is flying on the bikes, He can now lift massive weights.
INT. dEPARTMENT STORE
MICHAEL confidently picks out sports jackets, ties and shirts.
INT. Dance Class
MICHAEL effortlessly glides along the studio floor leading the teacher.
INT.Playground
This time MICHAEL has turned into a dynamic player and he can hold his own against the most skilled player.
INT. BOXING RING
MICHAEL knocks down his opponent.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. CORPORATE SEMINAR ROOM
MARGIE is holding forth to another group of people who preparing to take the assessment.
MARGIE
Now remember the program works only as well as you are honest with yourselves. It takes spontaneity. Freedom. Enjoy yourself. Answer quickly, generally with the first thing that comes to mind.
As MARGIE speaks JONATHAN slips into the back of the room with a group of executives. He clearly is explaining something to them,
JONATHAN
Don't mind us. Just carry on with what you were doing.
MARGIE of course is a bit floored by JONATHAN's sudden entrance but tries to continue.
MARGIE
So remember spontaneity and freedom are the first rule. So get ready to begin with the program. You merely have to hit the icon on the screen and follow...
As quickly as he came JONATHAN and the group leave. After a beat...
MARGIE (cont'd)
Excuse me...
MARGIE runs out into the hallway.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE CORPORATE SEMINAR ROOM
MARGIE spins around to find JONATHAN and the group of execs.
MARGIE
Jonathan!
JONATHAN who is leading his group down the hall, stops and turns around.
JONATHAN
Yes?
MARGIE trots up to them.
MARGIE
You know that proposal you wanted me to work on.
JONATHAN
Um, I don't recall.
MARGIE
You know the one for making men and women more attractive to each other.
Clearly this is the wrong time and place. It sounds like a come-on right in front of all these other executives. MARGIE begins to realizes the faux-pas.
mARGIE (cont'd)
The one based on our software training. The cross gender implementation and attraction program...it's really working. We're seeing great advances in our test case.
JONATHAN
Great. Write it up and send it to my secretary.
JONATHAN and the group continue down the all, leaving MARGIE alone in the hallway. The camera watches MARGIE diminish in size as it rolls down the hallway.
dISSOLVE TO:
EXT. STREET IN LOWER MANHATTAN
A close-up shot of MICHAEL's face. It is dramatically different. His thick glasses are gone. His face is chiseled seeming to have lost its baby fat. He appears more mature and is surprisingly handsome. As the camera pulls back we see that he is forcefully striding down of a busy New York sidewalk. In general people notice him and even the prettiest of girls glance up at him. He enters the building.
INT. LOBBY of building
As MICHAEL walks through the lobby the DOORMAN notices.
DOORMAN
Good afternoon, Mr. Mason.
MICHAEL_
(His voice is lower, more manly and refined)
Good afternoon Charles. How's your kid feeling? Did he get over the flu?
DOORMAN
Very well, sir. Thank you for asking.
MICHAEL
My pleasure.
MICHAEL stops at the newsstand and picks out a copy of US News and Report. NEWSMAN is clearly elated at seeing MICHAEL.
NEWSMAN
Any tips for today?
MICHAEL
(Smiling slyly)
Sell your IBM and invest it all in Netscape... just for a week. Than back to IBM. Got it?
NEWSMAN
Yeah.
MICHAEL
I have it on the best authority.
MICHAEL leaves and enters the elevator.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE OFFICE OF MANAGEMENT POTENTial
Elevator opens MICHAEL gets out. Two secretaries who stay behind look at him longingly. He is oblivious, as he engrossed in an article from the magazine. He enters the door at the end of the hall, the offices for Management Potential.
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL OFFICES - DAY
The entire gang is there. They all look up as MICHAEL enters. Not only is he now strikingly handsome, but he is dressed in the height of Ivy-League fashion.
Betty
Awesome.
allison
Unreal.
JASON
Beyond cool.
MICHAEL looks up from his magazine, only slightly surprised at the attention. MARGIE silently sizes him up.
MARGIE
I think we are ready for the next phase of the experiment.
BettY
Which is?
MARGIE
Back to Delaney's Bar.
A brief look of consternation comes over MICHAEL's face. This was the place of his last humiliation. He takes a breath, clearly evaluating himself from the inside out. He looks up.
MICHAEL
Alright. I'm ready.
cUT TO:
INT. dELANEY'S BAR -AFTERNOON
Back at the same booth. The trio is scoping out the scene. A young, beautiful women comes to the bar. She is alone and wearing a sexy mini skirt outfit and a tight halter top. She looks a little cheap — not quite call girl, but not quite a sophisticate. She is unquestionably sexy and knows it. A young business exec approaches and strikes up a conversation.
BETTY
There you go. She's beautiful. Perfect subject for the experiment.
MiCHAEL
(Still feeling a little shy)
I don't know. She's already talking to someone.
MARGIE
Come on. You can do it. Just remember... no talk of computers.
Betty
And no math...
MARGIE
And no Proust.
Betty
Just talk about the Knicks and their playoff chances.
MARGIE
Go!
They push him out of the booth and he shyly walks over to the bar. He sidles up. We watch from the perspective of the booth, along with MARGIE and BETTY. The bartender seems to be asking what he wants. The young girl looks over. The bartender brings MICHAEL a drink. The GIRL somehow excuses herself from the business exec and literally walks over to MICHAEL.
BETTy
I can't believe it.
MARGIE
Yes, it's gonna work.
BETTy
It's actually working.
MICHAEL and the GIRL are deep in conversation. BETTY and MARGIE focus in on the clear electricity between MICHAEL and the GIRL. They are holding hands after just a minute or two.
BeTTY
Wow. That's our Michael. He's going to score.
MARGIE
You know it's dangerous out there. And Michael's kind of naive. I hope he knows all about protection and stuff.
BeTTY
I'm not worried about Michael. I just can't wait to hear happens next.
Suddenly MICHAEL and the GIRL stand up. MICHAEL throws a few bills down on the bar. He puts his arm around her waist and they begin to exit. As the leave he looks over to MARGIE and BETTY and quietly waves with his other hand. MARGIE and BETTY are dumbfounded.
BETTY (cont'd)
We are going to get rich.
MARGIE
Maybe it's working too well.
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL OFFICES - DAY
We see a close-up of a clock. It's 12:45 PM. Everyone is working away, except MICHAEL. He's not there. Suddenly the door opens and MICHAEL walks in quite casually and sits down at his computer. MARGIE comes over to him.
mARGIE
So...?
MiCHAEL
So...?
mARGIE
(More Insistent)
So...?
MiCHAEL
So what?
mARGIE
What happened?
MiCHAEL
I can't say.
mARGIE
Why not?
MiCHAEL
It's private.
mARGIE
Just for the sake of science.
The conversation is getting heated.
MiCHAEL
No.
mARGIE
You have to..
MiCHAEL
No... It's personal.
mARGIE
It's nothing personal here. This was an experiment. A scientific experiment. You have to tell.
MiCHAEL
No, I don't.
They are on the edge of fighting when in walks a stunningly beautiful women, Tall and blonde and not the same women from the night before.
BEAUTIFUL WOMan
Oh, Michael. There you are.
She runs over and kisses him on the mouth. MARGIE is flabbergasted.
MICHAEL
Oh, I'd like you to meet Margie. That's actually Dr. Margaret Warshavsky.
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
Oh Michael told me all about you. Said you were just like a sister. Pleased to meet you. (Offers her hand, they shake). My name is Tippi... that's Tippi with an 'i".
MARGIE
Tippi? Oh, pleased to meet you Tippi with an "i". I'm Margie with an "i" also.(Turning to MICHAEL) She's not the same woman you met at Delaney's.
Just then the phone rings. MICHAEL picks it up and listens for a moment. When he responds it's with a new found authority and strength.
MIChAEL
Look, I didn't ask for this deal. You presented it to me. And now its time to close. Period. Get it done.
MARGIE and BETTY are amazed and TIPPI just admires him.
miCHAEL (cont'd)
(To TIPPI)
Look, why don't you go back to your apartment and I'll meet you there a little later.
TippI
Okay, see you there lover boy.
She leaves.
BETTY
Lover boy?
MARGIE
Sister? You told Tippi that I'm like a sister to you.
MICHAEL
I'm sorry ladies I don't mean to be rude. But I have a few business deals I'm working on and I have an appointment in a few minutes. So if you will excuse me.
MICHAEL gets up and puts a few pages into a briefcase and leaves.
MiCHAEL (cont'd)
I'll call in later. Bye
MICHAEL leaves.
MARGIE
What have we done?
BETTY
Who was that man?
MARGIE
Creep.
INT. DISCO - NIGHT
MICHAEL is dancing with another very beautiful woman. They move well, the epitome of sensuality and sexuality.
INT. An ART GALLERY in soho.
MARGIE is seen on the street peering in through the gallery window. She enters by herself. She tries to check out the paintings. The GALLERY OWNER comes up to her.
GALLERY OWNER
May I help you?
MaRGIE
Oh, no just browsing.
The GALLERY OWNER leaves her alone and she tries to look fascinated by some abstract glob of paint. A good looking couple stroll by, arms around each other.
INT. Elegant RESTAURANT
MICHAEL is wining and dining a raven haired beauty.
INT. GREEK DINER - night
MARGIE is eating by herself in a Greek Diner picking at her food.
INT. MICHAEL's APARTMENT
MICHAEL's apartment is now neat and clean. He and another women are passionately making out on the couch.
INT. MARGIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
MARGIE is in her bed watching another romance on the TV. A big fat book on the life of Tolstoy is on the bed. She clicks off the TV. She stares over at her answering machine that once again is blinking with a single solitary number "one". She hesitates, but finally building up her nerve she pushes the button:
MoM (o.s)
(From answering machine)
Hi Margie, it's your mother. I spoke to your brother today and he told me all about his new girl friend. She sounds so lovely. She works at the bank and may soon get a promotion. It made me think that may be your not telling me about your boy friends. I can understand if you like to keep your privacy. I can relate to that. But it would be nice if you could give me just a little hint...
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL OFFICES - DAY
We jump into the scene just as MARGIE sits down in front of MICHAEL.
mARGIE
We have to talk.
MiCHAEL
All right. What would you like to talk about?
mARGIE
It's about you...
MiCHAEL_
(With the beginning of an edge to his voice)
What about?
mARGIE
Michael, you've changed.
MiCHAEL
Obviously.
mARGIE
You're becoming... becoming...
MiCHAEL
(Finishing her sentence)
Happy.
mARGIE
Happy? You call running around with a different women every night happy?
MICHAEL
It sure beats sitting at home on the computer surfing through pictures on the Internet.
MARGIE
I think you should take a look at this. I don't think this is the healthiest behavior patterns. I think you're just working out all those years of rejection by going out with so many woman. It would be much healthier I think...
MICHAEL
Oh, please don't play little miss psychologist with me.
MARGIE is clearly hurt.
miCHAEL (cont'd)
Look, Okay, maybe I am just working out years of rejection and humiliation by making it with all these women. But I figure I can spend years in therapy and a lot of money working out my anger and deep feelings of inadequacy... or I can screw myself silly for a few months...and recover that way.
MARGIE
There's a better way.
But before MARGIE can finish a pretty blonde girl sticks her head into the office.
pretty Blonde
Yoo hoo, Mikey. How are you? Are you ready?
She walks in the door, barely bedecked in a mini skirt and looking 19 at best.
MIchael
I'm sorry but we will have to finish this conversation at a later date. Dr. Warshavsky I'd like you to meet Mimi.
mARGIE
With an "i" no doubt.
The PRETTY BLONDE doesn't quite get it.
MIcHAEl
I'll see you tomorrow.
MICHAEL and the PRETTY Blonde exit.MARGIE wanders out of MICHAEL's office and goes over to BETTY's desk.
MARGIE
We've created a sexual Frankenstein.
BETTY
Good.
MARGIE
This is terrible. Where is the old Michael?
BETTY
He's just growing. He'll get back to his old self. More importantly though is that the program works. Doesn't it?
MARGIE
Beyond our best hopes and predictions. Though one case is not quite a scientific sample.
BETTY
I don't care. You're going to see Jonathan Mehlinger tomorrow.
Suddenly perking up.
mARGIE
What?
BETTY
I booked an appointment for 11 o'clock. To talk about our new business. Gender Management Potential.
She hands MARGIE a slim business proposal.
BETTY (cont'd)
Simple. Clean and to the point. No financials or anything, but certainly enough information to get the ball rolling.
MARGIE leafs through the material.
bETTY (cont'd)
Someone has to do the work around here.
INT. LADIES room in schuller building
MARGIE is looking into a mirror trying her best to make herself pretty for her big meeting with JONATHAN. She is putting on the last dab of lipstick, but she can't quite get it not to smudge — and its thick and caking. Her eyeliner is all wrong and she can't get her hair to stay in place. Still she makes a go at it, turns and walks out of the bathroom.
INT. THE WAITING ROOM OUTSIDE J.MEHLINGER's OFFICE. - DAY
MARGIE enters. JANICE is on the phone. She looks up as she puts it down.
JANICE
Mr. Mehlinger is waiting for you.
MARGIE
Good. Thank you.
Stiffly she walks into JONATHAN's office.
JONATHAN
Dr. Warshavsky. Nice to see you. Please have a seat.
MARGIE
Thank you.
MARGIE get settled.
JONATHAN
Can I get you anything?
MARGIE
No.
JONATHAN
I hear the program is going great. Everyone is enjoying themselves. I'm just sorry I don't have the time to take the remediation myself.
MARGIE
Oh no, you don't need it. You're almost perfect...
MARGIE realizes that she almost has blown it by revealing she knows JONATHAN's confidential scores.
JONATHAN
Don't flatter me, Doctor. I get that all the time.
MARGIE
Oh no, I just mean.
JONATHAN
That's okay. So what can I do for you?
MARGIE
Well I just wanted to give you our initial proposal for the Gender Management Program.
She hands him the proposal.
JONATHAN
What's that?
MARGIE
A gender enhancement service. We use our program to make men and women more attractive to each other.
JONATHAN absentmindedly leafs through the proposal.
JONATHAN
I recall something.
MARGIE
It was your idea.
JONATHAN
Oh was it? Well, you know I get a lot of ideas. They come up all the time. It's only occasionally that I have the time to pursue them.
MARGIE's beginning to realize that she may be on a fool's errand.
mARGIE
Oh, I see. I didn't mean to impose.
Suddenly it's JONATHAN who switches moods.
JONATHAN
Oh, I'm sorry. I have just been distracted lately.
mARGIE
I understand. It must be very stressful running a major business operation like this.
JONATHAN
Actually, it's personal. Melanie and I just broke up last night.
mARGIE
Oh, I'm sorry.
JONATHAN
Oh, I'm sorry. It's stupid of me to bring it up in a business meeting.
mARGIE
Not at all.
JONATHAN
It's just that you have a ceratin quality. I feel that you are easy to speak to.
mARGIE
Like a sister...
JONATHAN
Actually I was going to say psychologist. But then I'd be imposing. You're a professional after all.
mARGIE
No, no... you can talk to me.
JONATHAN
That's okay. Look, I promise to take a look your proposal and get back to you in a few weeks.
JONATHAN gets up, signalling the meeting is over.
jONATHAN (cont'd)
In the meantime... keep up the good work.
Flashing his big white smile he shakes her hand.
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL OFFICES - DAY
MARGIE
He didn't even remember that it was his idea.
BeTTY
But he did say he'd look at it. That's all I care about.
MARGIE
That doesn't mean anything. He was being polite. It was a total brush off.
BeTTY
Maybe. But we should pursue it anyway.
MARGIE
But more importantly, he's available.
BeTTY
Margie, just because he breaks up with a girlfriend... Does not make him available, at least...(trailing off)
MARGIE
(Picking up the thought)
At least what? At least not available to the likes of me.
BeTTY
I didn't say that.
MARGIE
But it's true. Mousy, wimpy, plain, skinny, 4-eyed Margie.
BeTTY
Come on Margie. That's not true.
MARGIE
Yes it is. I don't mind finally admitting it to myself. Do you know why?
BeTTY
Why?
MARGIE
Because now there is an alternative.
She looks over to MICHAEL's office. MICHAEL, a young handsome man, is making a series of phone calls. Another pretty girl is in the office with him.
mARGIE (cont'd)
Because now I can become the Bride of Frankenstein. If he can do it, I can do it.
BeTTY
Margie, you're getting crazy. You know you've got that obsessive personality.
mARGIE
No, it's an opportunity. It's a chance to become... happy... really happy. Come on Betty. We have to do some research.
BeTTY
Where? What kind of research?
mARGIE
We're going to Delaney's. We need my base starting level. We're going to find out just how lame I really am?
BETTY
This is crazy.
mARGIE
No, this is truth. But don't tell Michael. This is got to be totally a secret. Promise.
BETTY
Promise.
INT. dELANEY'S BAR -AFTERNOON
MARGIE and BETTY are sitting at the booth checking out the bar. One or two lone men are there nursing drinks.
mARGIE
Okay, there they are. I'm ready.
BETTY
(Checking out the patrons)
Not exactly sterling test material.
mARGIE
They'll do. If I can't get them interested I'm really useless.
MARGIE gets up and walks over to the bar. The bartender comes over to her.
BARTENDER
And what will you have, Miss?
mARGIE
A white wine please?
As the bartender is getting MARGIE her drink, she is eyeing the men at the bar. She zeroes in on one sad looking character, who is sitting there his chin propped up by his hand.
MARGIE (cont'd)
Hi.
The man is a little surprised by MARGIE initiating a conversation.
MAn at bar
Hi.
MARGIE
How are you today?
MAn at bar
Good.
The MAN moves over a chair or two to talk to MARGIE.
MARGIE
(Trying her best to make small talk.)
So what's new with you?
MAn at bar
Nothing.
MARGIE
Boy, those Knicks were great last night.
MAn at bar
Knicks played last night? I thought they were off.
MARGIE
Oh, I meant the previous night.
MAn at bar
They lost by twenty points.
MARGIE
Oh yeah...
MAN leans in a little bit, putting his chin on his hand. MARGIE is getting nervous.
MAn at bar
So what's new with you?
MARGIE
(Retreating to safe ground)
I was just considering how irrelevant Freud is to contemporary feminist female psychology. You know, considering that Freud's work is a hundred years old, it's ridiculous it's still taught as a foundational work of psychology. When today, women are reared in a conceptual framework that is radically different from Freud's.
MAn at bar
I see.
Cut to BETTY's perspective from the booth. The MAN is getting up and leaving. So are two other men who may have overheard the conversation. MARGIE looks around and walks back to BETTY.
bETTY
So?
MARGIE
Perfect. Base line zero. I was totally humiliated and rejected.
bETTY
This is good?
MARGIE
Excellent.
bETTY
I am ready for the Warshavsky—Moran Gender Assessment. Ladies and gentleman, goodbye to 'little miss goodie two-shoes'Ph.D. Prepare for the new Margaret Warshavsky, Amazon Queen.
INT. MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL OFFICES - DAY
MARGIE is intensely working at the computer taking the assessment.There is a intense determination on her face.
A few minutes later, MARGIE is waiting at the printer. The machine whirs and her analysis comes out. She grunts a few times upon looking at it. And then grabs the prescription as it is printed. She runs over to BETTY.
MARGIE
Come on. Betty, we have work to do.
They quickly leave the office.
INT. OPTICIAN'S OFFICE - DAY
MARGIE is struggling to put in her new contact lenses.
INT. Hairdresser's SALON
MARGIE is getting her hair cut and permed by a very gay hairdresser.
INT. Tai-Chi Class
MARGIE struggles through Tai Chi class.
INT. BloominGDALE'S
MARGIE and BETTY buy clothes at Bloomingdales.
INT. gYM
It is MARGIE's turn at the gym as she struggles with the exercise equipment.
INT. vICTORIA'S SECRET
MARGIE is utterly embarrassed as Betty urges her to purchase a skimpy "g" string.
mARGIE
That's not underwear.
BeTTY
Of course, it's not underwear.
mARGIE
It's sin incarnate.
BeTTY
That's what they made it for.
mARGIE
I'll take it.
INT. ACTING CLASS
MARGIE is in the middle of a scene for her acting class. It is a dark workshop on a stage area. Several other STUDENTS sit in a circle. The TEACHER is on the other side.
mARGIE
(Trying to portray Lady Macbeth, but with her high nasally voice)
Out damn spot.....
Teacher
Lower your voice, breathe your sexuality, your sensuality. Lady Macbeth is pure animal.
mARGIE
(Lowers the pitch of her voice)
Out damn spot...
fADE TO BLACK.
INT. dELANEY'S BAR - AFTERNOON
BETTY is standing in front of the ladies' room, calling into MARGIE.
Betty
Are you ready?
MARGIE
One more second.
After a moment's pause, Betty pulls open door and there stands a stunningly transformed MARGIE. She is in a long, sexy gown. Her hair is thick and flowing with highlights. Her face is beautiful sans glasses and with just the right make-up. She is even several inches taller due to her new high heels. BETTY is amazed. She lets the door go. It swings back onto MARGIE hitting her.
mARGIE (cont'd)
Ow! Damn.
Betty
Sorry.
MARGIE pushes the door open and wobbles out. She may be beautiful, but she hasn't gotten the hang of wearing high heels.
mARGIE
God, these high heels hurt. Women are crazy to wear these things. It's just another manifestation of the patriarchal dominated society.
Betty
Margie, stop. Today no feminism. Today you are brain dead. You are just practicing being alluring flesh.
mARGIE
Right.
Betty
Now. There they are. Go.
mARGIE
Yes, the saga continues.
MARGIE wobbles towards the bar, where several men are sitting. She zeros in one attractive,elderly gentlemen. He sees her approaching him and stands. Just as she is about to reach the bar, her heel slips out from under her and she falls into him. In the process she knock over his drink, drenching him and her.
mARGIE (cont'd)
Oh my God.
Elderly man
Do I know you?
mARGIE
No, I don't think so. Oh I'm so sorry.
Elderly man
That's okay. Really, what's your name?
But MARGIE is totally flustered now and forgets her new found poise.
mARGIE
Dr. Margaret Warshavsky. I'm such an idiot. I've ruined your suit. I'll pay for it.
Elderly man
(Trying to ne a gentleman)
Nothing really. What kind of medicine do you practice?
mARGIE
Not that kind of doctor. I'm a psychologist.
Elderly man
Oh, I see.
Hearing those devastating words again MARGIE gets even more insecure and begins to revert. She tries to explain herself.
mARGIE
You know Aristotle's Golden Mean? Well, I was trying to do that, to find the perfect balance between brains and beauty, the moderation in all things. And now I've zoomed right off the chart into the bottomless pit. And there's no golden mean in the bottomless pit. Is there?
Elderly man
(Feigning looking at his watch)
Oh dear, look at that. I'll be late for my train. My wife and I are going out to dinner. I'm afraid I have to go.
He gets up to leave.
mARGIE
Of course, go. It's all right. It's the way it should be.
The other men at the bar begin to shy away and leave. Alone again, MARGIE tries to stagger back to BETTY but slips and falls on the floor.
INT. mANAGEMENT POTENTIAL RESOURCES OFFICE - LATER THAT DAY
BETTY is trying to console MARGIE.
bETTY
You're not a failure.
mARGIE
I don't get it. Michael succeeded right away.
bETTY
Yeah, but he didn't have to wear high heels. Wearing heels is not the easiest thing, especially if you never really did it before. You just need to practice a little more.
The office door opens and MICHAEL enters.
mARGIE
Oh, jeez, it's Michael. He can't see me like this.
MICHAEL immediately comes over. He is amazed. He walks around her checking her out from all angles.
miCHAEL
I don't believe it. You're gorgeous. What happened?
bETTY
She took the program.
miCHAEL
I can see.
mARGIE
It was suppose to be a secret.
miCHAEL
What are those?
mARGIE
What?
miCHAEL
(Pointing to her chest)
Boobies. I never knew you had any before. They're great.
mARGIE
(Getting upset)
Go away. Just go away.
Betty
Michael, I think you better leave us alone for a little while.
MiCHAEL
All right, I can see it's a little intense right now.
MICHAEL leaves.
maRGIE
He is such a jerk.
INT. Ballet class
MARGIE is back in the swing of her training. But she is no longer a klutz. She is beginning to show signs of being graceful.
INT. Yoga class
MARGIE works on her poise and breathing.
INT. vicTORIA'S SECRET
At Victoria Secret's MARGIE eagerly purchases sexy lingerie and tries outrageous lipstick and make-up.
INT. GyM
At the gym MARGIE is even trying out kick boxing and is proving to be quite good, as she knocks over her hapless sparring partner (a man) with a well-placed kick.
INT. mANAGEMENT POTENTIAL RESOURCES OFFICE - Day
MICHAEL is working at his computer. MARGIE walks by. She has a new verve in her step. She saunters by, her hips moving with a new sexiness.
mARGIE
Don't look at me that way.
miCHAEL
What way?
mARGIE
That salacious barbaric look.
miCHAEL
I am not looking at you. I am looking at my computer screen.
mARGIE
At your internet babes.
miCHAEL
No, at our protocols for the advanced form of software for the Schuller project. Look if we are going to implement this world-wide, we are going to have to develop an entirely new way of formatting the data base.
mARGIE
(Focussing on work)
What programming format are you going to use?
miCHAEL
The new Omega programs. I downloaded a demo. It looks pretty good.
mARGIE
Let me see.
MARGIE pulls up a seat to focus in.
mARGIE (cont'd)
Don't get any ideas.
miCHAEL
You're flattering yourself. You looking a lot better than I've ever seen you. But it's not that great.
The phone rings and MICHAEL picks it up.
miCHAEL (cont'd)
Hi, Buffy. Is that you? It's great to hear from you.
mARGIE
Buffy? You're talking to a Buffy. I don't believe it.
MICHAEL tries to cover the phone mouthpiece and tries to quiet MARGIE
miCHAEL
Shhh...
mARGIE
What's happening to you. I don't know any Buffy's. You know a Buffy. Michael...
MARGIE leaves in disgust.
INT. dELANEY'S BAR - AFTERNOON
MARGE and BETTY enter the bar. MARGIE is stunning and looking confident. She takes a deep breath. She does a quick pirouette on her high heels. She lands perfectly.
Betty
Are you ready?
maRGIE
It's now or never. Go on over to the booth. I'm off to do battle.
MARGIE saunters over to the bar. There are several patrons. The bar tender approaches.
MARGIE (cont'd)
Vodka Martini, straight up, no olive.
BaRTENDER
Got it.
MARGIE looks over to two good looking men having a drink, a few stools down from where she sits.
MARGIE
How do you think Ewing did last night against Boston?
The two MEN are surprised and look up. Even more surprised to find out that the woman is addressing them and is so strikingly beautiful.
Man 1
Ewing?
MARGIE
Yes, Ewing. He was only shooting 38 percent last night. His career conversion rate is 68 per cent. Of course, that puts him in the top 12 per cent of players for all time.
man 2
Really. I didn't know that.
BARTENDER comes over and delivers the drink.
baRTENDER
Yeah, but did you see how they had him double covered the whole time.
man 2
Usually he can handle that.
MARGIE
It's amazing how the Knicks have only a 42 per cent shooting percentage when they're between 15 feet and 25 feet from the hoop. Real champions teams usually are braking 50 per cent from that area.
Another MAN moves closer hearing a beautiful woman talking so eruditely about basketball.
From the angle of the booth where BETTY is sitting, MARGIE appears to have men all over her. We Cut back to the bar.
mARGIE
Joe Torre has it all wrong. If he would study the team statistics and change the pitching rotation alternating between a four and three day rest period, I calculate that he could increase the total strikeouts per pitcher by 8 per cent.
man 2
How on earth can you figure that out.
mARGIE
It's really quite easy. All I'm doing is calculating the number of strikeouts by each pitcher when they either have a 3 day or 4 day rest. You can presume...
man 1
I don't know. I think we need to do a little more research here. I've got box seats for Friday night, would you like to go?
MARGIE
As I was saying, you've got to presume that... (finally realizing what just happened)... what did you say?
man 1
What? That I have box seats for Friday night?
MARGIE
Yes...
man 1
Do want to go out?
MARGIE
You're asking me out?
man 1
Why yes, anything wrong with that?
MARGIE
No, it's just very interesting.
man 1
Well?
MARGIE
Well what?
man 1
Do you want to go out?
MARGIE
Actually? No... But very interesting.
MARGIE gets up to leave, she puts a few bills down on the bar.
maRGIE (cont'd)
Thank you. Everyone, thank you.
MARGIE returns to the booth.
BeTTY
So?
maRGIE
Bingo.
BeTTY
That's it? Bingo?
maRGIE
Bingo, bingo, bingo. I'm ready.
BeTTY
Are you sure?
maRGIE
NEVER BEEN SO SURE IN ALL MY LIFE... (hesitating). . . sort of. I figure it's now or never.
MARGIE opens up the briefcase that BETTY has been watching. She takes out a portfolio and looks it over.
mARGIE (cont'd)
This says that Jonathan Mehlinger's favorite hangout is the Downtown Athletic Club.
BeTTY
Very exclusive. You probably can't just walk in there.
mARGIE
(Uncharacteristically confident)
Sure you can, why not? It says here he plays squash Tuesdays and Thursdays at 4:30.
(She looks at her watch)
I can make it over there in time to intercept him.
BeTTY
Intercept him. How?
mARGIE
I don't know. I'll find out when I get there.
cUT TO:
EXT. Street outside downtown athletic club - late afternoon
A taxi pulls up and MARGIE exits. She is beautiful and alluring. She tosses back her hair. Looks at the door. Sets herself with determination. And strides to the door of the club. A doorman opens approaches.
DooRMAN
May I help you?
MARGie
(Acting as though she is expected)
I'm meeting Jonathan Mehlinger. Did he leave yet?
DooRMAN
No, he's still here. You can wait over near the bar in the waiting room if you like.
MARGie
Thank you.
INT. the lobby in the Downtown Athletic club
MARGIE walks over to a bar that is situated against the wall in a waiting room, next to the lobby. She has a good view of the elevators.
She orders a Perrier from the bartender and waits. The elevator doors open and JONATHAN comes out with a group of men amiably chatting. They head to the front doors. MARGIE cranes her neck in anticipation.
JONATHAN reaches the front door. The doorman stops him and points to MARGIE. JONATHAN excuse himself from the others and walks towards MARGIE. She takes a deep breath as JONATHAN approaches.
JONATHAN
Hi, I'm Jonathan Mehlinger. Do I know you?
MARGIE hesitates for a moment waiting to see if JONATHAN recognizes her. It appears that he doesn't.
mARGIE
Perhaps...
JONATHAN
Well, can I help you in any way?
mARGIE
I hope I don't seem too forward but I've seen you around here and I just wanted to meet you.
JONATHAN
You do seem familiar.
mARGIE
You've probably seen me around here sometime.
JONATHAN
I don't know. Someone as beautiful as you, I think I would have noticed.
mARGIE
Well, thank you.
JONATHAN
It seems odd. Are you sure we haven't met? Though I just can't place you.
mARGIE
Well, whatever. I'm just glad we met now.
JONATHAN
(Looking her over appreciatively)
So am I. Happy to meet you.
He courteously offers her his hand and they shake.
jONATHAN (cont'd)
Unfortunately I'm a busy man. I have an important meeting in a few minutes, so how about if I call you later tonight. We can talk then.
mARGIE
It would be a pleasure.
MARGIE takes out a small pad and writes down her name and number. JONATHAN looks at it.
jONATHAN
Okay, Margaret. I'll give you a call later.
They smile at each other. JONATHAN leaves. MARGIE is alone. A moment later she bubbles up with happiness.
mARGIE
Yes!
INT. mARGIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
MARGIE is pacing back and forth in her apartment. Finally the phone rings. She jumps, runs over to pick it up, hesitates, not sure who it might be. She picks it up.
MARGIE
Hello.
mom (O.s)
(Filtered)
Hi Margie.
MARGIE
Mom?
mom
Yes, it's me, your mother. Finally... a real live person. You know a mother gets tired only talking to a machine. Why don't you ever call me?
MARGIE
I'm expecting an important phone call.
mom
(Maternally perceptive)
Oh, so that's why you picked up the phone. Somebody important was calling. Not that your mother is important. At least is it a boyfriend?
Margie
Of course not. It's business.
mom
Did you know that Aunt Gina has five grandchildren? Five and she's not even seventy yet.
A beep sounds on the phone line signalling call waiting.
maRGIE
Oh, there's another call coming through. I have to take it.
mom
What, you can't wait a minute?
maRGIE
Hang on.
MARGIE clicks the phone
maRGIE (cont'd)
Hello?
JONATHAN (o.s)
(filtered)
Hi, Margaret. This is Jonathan Mehlinger.
maRGIE
Oh, hi. How are you?
JONATHAN
Great. I'm sorry I couldn't talk more at the club, but I did want to get back to you.
maRGIE
Can you hold on a second?
JONATHAN
Sure.
MARGIE clicks the phone.
maRGIE
Mom, are you there?
mom
So who is it? A man?
maRGIE
Mom...
mom
What does he do for a living?
maRGIE
Mom, it's a business call. I've got to go. I'll call you back later.
mom
I called to tell you about my surgery.
maRGIE
What? Okay, hang on.
MARGIE clicks the phone.
mARGIE (cont'd)
Sorry. I took so long. It was an important call from overseas.
jONATHAN
Okay, I understand. I'll get right to the point then. How about we meet for lunch tomorrow?
mARGIE
Lunch? Sure.
jONATHAN
Great. How about 1 o'clock. River Cafe. The one on Water Street.
mARGIE
Sure, see you then.
jONATHAN
I'm looking forward to it. Bye.
mARGIE
Bye.
MARGIE clicks the phone again.
maRGIE (cont'd)
What surgery?
mom
My doctor told me that I my in-grown toenail has reached a point where he thinks I should have it taken care of. He sent ne to a special orthopedic surgeon. You should see how much it's going to cost...
As MOM rattles on, MARGIE shakes her head in dismay.
INT. marGIE'S APARTMENT - MORNING
The alarm goes off and MARGIE jumps out of bed. We watch her getting ready for the day, putting on her business clothes, putting on make-up, glasses, pulling back her hair, etc. The problem is that her new good looks are beginning to "pop out" all over the place and she's having a hard time hiding it. The old Margie Warshavsky is no longer really there. She grabs a dress bag as she runs out of the apartment.
INT. corPORATE SEMINAR ROOM
MARGIE is conducting the seminar. Several people are working at their computers. Some are practicing new physical postures in front of the computer cameras, other make faces, trying to look debonair or sincere, others practice speaking new sales pitches. MARGIE is pacing back and forth occasionally looking at her wristwatch At 12 o'clock she looks up.
MARGIE
Excuse me, but I have to leave early today. Just continue as you have been and we'll resume tomorrow morning at 9 AM sharp.
MARGIE picks up her dress bag and runs out of the room.
INT. hALLWAY OUTSIDE CORPORATE SEMINAR ROOM
MARGIE runs down the hallway. As she turns a corner, she sees a group of executives including, to her horror, JONATHAN. Realizing she's trapped she plunges ahead trying to duck her head not to be noticed. The entire group turns and watches her run by.
EXT. STREETs IN LOWER MANHATTAN
MARGIE hails a taxi and piles in.
mARGIE
The River Cafe and Water Street.
MARGIE tries to get ready by inserting her contact lenses as the taxi careens down the streets.
The taxi pulls in front of the cafe. She pays and exits.
INT. RIVER CAFE
MARGIE enters and is greeted by the MAITRE D'.
MAITRE D'
May I help you?
maRGIE
Yes, I am having lunch with Mr. Mehlinger.
MAITRE D'
He has a reservation at one. It's a little early. Perhaps you would like to wait at the bar and enjoy an aperitive.
mARGIE
I'd rather find the ladies room.
MAITRE D'
It's right in the back.
MARGIE walks to the ladies' room. She tries to open it, but it is locked. She tries to jiggle it forcibly. She waits impatiently and a moment later the door open and a FAT LADY walks out. They exchange dirty looks as MARGIE enters.
INT. LADIES' ROOM
MARGIE locks the door and jumps into her preparations turning herself into a glamorous lady. Someone outside tries the door and finds it locked. They knock. MARGIE looks over disturbed.
mARGIE
I'm sick. Come back later. Go to another restaurant.
INT. rIVER CAFE
JONATHAN enters. The MAITRE D' approaches him.
MaiTRE D'
Your table is ready. Your luncheon guest is already here. She's in the ladies room and will be with you shortly.
JonaTHAN
Thank you, Francois.
INT. LADIES' ROOM
MARGIE puts on the finishing touches and looks at herself in the mirror. She picks up her garment bag and exits.
INT. riVER CAFE
MARGIE exits the bathroom, goes to the MAITRE D'. She hands him the garment bag and he points to JONATHAN sitting at a table for two. MARGIE approaches. Seeing her JONATHAN smiles broadly in appreciation. He stands, greets her and helps her to her seat, politely pulling it out for her.
joNATHAN
Well, Margarita. How are you today.?
MARGIE
Very well. Thank you.
A WAITER approaches.
joNATHAN
I've already ordered. Just a drink for me. I'm sorry. I'm always very busy it seems. It's part of the territory in what I do. But please go ahead, get something and take your time. But I did want to keep our date.
WAITER
Would you like a menu.
MARGIE
No, I'll just have a Cobb Salad. If you have that?
WAITER
Yes, we do. Anything to drink?
MARGIE
No, thank you.
The WAITER leaves. JONATHAN turns and focusses on MARGIE.
jONATHAN
Well, at last.
MARGIE
Yes, at last. You start.
jONATHAN
Well, I guess I'll be honest. There's something bothering me that I think I should mention.
MARGIE
Already. We haven't even had a real conversation and we have a problem.
jONATHAN
No, no not at all. I still get the feeling though that I know you... from somewhere.
MARGIE
(Being coy)
Maybe you do... maybe you don't.
JONATHAN
You know. This is sort of awkward... and you're very beautiful and very sexy. But a man in my position has to be careful. I am in a very public position, so I hope...
MARGIE
(Catching the drift)
Wait a minute, are you trying to ask whether I'm a call girl.. a prostitute?
JONATHAN
I'm sorry. It was totally wrong for me to even think.
MARGIE
(Incredulous)
Me? A prostitute?
JONATHAN
I apologize. I'm totally out of bounds.
MARGIE
No, not at all. It's okay.
JONATHAN
I'm so sorry.
MARGIE
No, really. I'm flattered. Honest.
JONATHAN
Total mistake.
mARGIE
You actually think I am that sexy and beautiful that I might be a prostitute.
JONATHAN
The way we met at the bar. You were so alluring. So elegant. So open.
mARGIE
That's great. It really works. Wow. (Being sincere). No, I'm sorry. But I'm not a call girl. But you do know me.
MARGIE reaches into her purse and pulls out her horned-rim glasses. She pulls back her hair and puts them on. Changing her voice enough back.
mARGIE (cont'd)
Actually, I'm good ol' Dr. Margie Warshavsky, clinical psychologist.
JONATHAN
Dr. Warshavsky?
mARGIE
Yup.
MARGIE alternates between putting on her glasses and taking them off while saying:
mARGIE (cont'd)
Psychologist... call girl... psychologist... call girl... psychologist...the experiment really worked.
JONATHAN
What worked? What experiment?
mARGIE
The computer modelling and gender attraction. Remember the business proposal I gave you. A few weeks ago I was just little old Margie Warshavsky, mousy Ph.D. Today, I could be a call girl. Now don't get me wrong. Prostitution is a terrible thing, exploitation of economically distressed women, but I have to admit that, yes, a little part of me is tickled pink... you really thought I was a call girl ?
JONATHAN
(Picking up MARGIE's infectious enthusiasm)
Yes, the most beautiful, sexy escort I've ever met. Look I have to go to my meeting. But how about having dinner with me tonight. I suppose to confer with a group from Chicago tonight, but I'll cancel. Part of the privilege of being president. I'm always busy, but usually I can reschedule. I'll tell them a banking group from Hong Kong just flew into town. That usually stops everything. You're probably booked also, but why don't you change your plans too.
MARGIE takes out her small little date book and looks through its empty pages.
mARGIE
It won't be easy. But I'll try.
JONATHAN
Great. Can we meet in the Oak Room at the Plaza Hotel. I know the chef. In fact, I'll call ahead and have him make something special. Anything you don't eat? 7:30 then. Sorry, but I have to get to that meeting.
JONATHAN gets up.
mARGIE
And I have to change and get back to my seminar.
JONATHAN
You're just like Lorna Lee.
mARGIE
Who is that?
JONATHAN
Supergirl. Remember the old Supergirl comics. Lorna Lee was Supergirl's alter ego that she was always changing back to.
mARGIE
(Excited)
Supergirl! Yes...!
She tries to give JONATHAN a hi-five slap. After a beat JONATHAN gently meets her palm with his.
jONATHAN
It's a pleasure Dr. Warshavsky.
mARGIE
(Smilingly radiantly)
Call me Margie.
INT. mANAGEMENT POTENTIAL OFFICES - Afternoon
MARGIE is sitting with BETTY. She is about to open JONATHAN's private portfolio once again.
BeTTY
Are you sure you want to do this? This is getting very obsessive.
MARGIE
I'm just trying to figure out what we can talk about.
BeTTY
It's still suppose to be confidential. Or at least it was.
MARGIE opens the dossier.
MARGIE
Don't worry. I know what I'm doing. Hmm, it says here that he loves to speculate on the Market. Not exactly my thing. Second degree Black Belt in Karate. Well, maybe we can talk about my kick boxing. There's a connection. He went to Dartmouth.
BeTTY
You went to Harvard. Ivy League. There's a connection.
MICHAEL comes by. MARGIE quickly tries to hide the dossier.
miCHAEL
Okay, what's going on here. Oh, going through Mehlinger's confidential file again?
MARGIE
No, I'm not.
Betty
Yes, you are.
MARGIE
So what?
miCHAEL
You pretty hung up on this guy.
MARGIE
No, I'm not. At least I'm focussing on one guy. It's better than you running around with a different woman every night.
miCHAEL
Not really. I've being seeing Sharon quite regularly.
MarGIE
Sharon? At least her name doesn't end in an "i".
BETTY
You've been going out with her quite a bit lately.
MicHAEL
She's a great lady. We've been really enjoying each other.
MarGIE
What does she do?
MicHAEL
She's a model.
MarGIE
Just the way you like them. D and B. Dumb and beautiful.
MicHAEL
It's your cliche, Margie. Not mine. Just be careful with Mehlinger. He's not everything you think he is.
MICHAEL leaves as MARGIE glares at him
fADE TO:
INT. mARGIE'S APARTMENT - EARLY evening
MARGIE is getting herself ready for her big date. As she preens herself she has opened a fat volume of the complete plays of Shakespeare, which she is trying to quickly commit to memory.
mARGIE
To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether tis nobler, in mind, to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or is it. . . (etc.)
INT. OAK ROOM, PLAZA HOTEL - evening
MARGIE is waiting in the lobby of the restaurant, dressed in a stunning evening gown. JONATHAN approaches. They smile.
jONATHAN
Hello, Margaret.
mARGIE
Hello.
jONATHAN
How was the rest of your lunch.
mARGIE
Great. I didn't even have to pay.
They pause to gaze at each other. The MAITRE D' approaches.
maiTRE D'
Mr. Mehlinger. You're table is ready.
The MAITRE D' escorts them to a table. JONATHAN helps her to her seat. After he sits down a WAITER approaches and immediately pours some chilled white wine.
jONATHAN
I hope you don't mind. But I've ordered everything in advance.
MaRGIE
Sounds delightful.
They raise glasses, look at each other and drink.
jONATHAN
Chateau de Borigion 1972.
MaRGIE
(Faking it)
I thought so.
Another WAITER begins to serve them, starting with a salad and hor d'ouvre.
jONATHAN
Well, where shall we begin?
MaRGIE
You mean what shall we talk about?
jONATHAN
I love the mystery of who you really are. A beautiful woman who appears out of nowhere. A brilliant accomplished scientist in the day... who at night transforms into a beautiful and elegant lady.
MaRGIE
You make me sound like a werewolf. Normal in the day, and the fangs come out at night.
jONATHAN
No, I think I had something far more romantic in mind.
MaRGIE
Well, you know as the Bard once wrote...
jONATHAN
Shakespeare?
MaRGIE
Yes.. do you like Shakespeare?
jONATHAN
I love it. I was an English major in college.
mARGIE
(Quoting Shakespeare)
If I profane with my unworthiest hand,
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this...
jONATHAN
(Quoting in response)
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss...
mARGIE
Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much
Which mannerly devotion shows in this...
jONATHAN
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.
As MARGIE and JONATHAN quote at each other, the air thickens with the romantic attraction between them. JONATHAN takes MARGIE's hand. At the final moment JONATHAN kisses MARGIE's hand. She then backs off, slightly embarrassed.
The scene fades into the rest of the dinner and images of their animated conversation.
fADE TO:
EXT. central Park - NIGHT
MARGIE and JONATHAN take a romantic ride on a horse drawn carriage through the Park.
fadE TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE MARGIE's APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
mARGIE
It was a wonderful evening. Thank you.
jONATHAN
Thank you.
mARGIE
I'd love to invite you up.
jONATHAN
No, that's okay. There's no rush. Besides I love the sweet sorrows of parting, n'est ce pas?
mARGIE
Moi aussi. L'amour est remplie de douceur quand assemblee par un fantome d'une toile.
jONATHAN
(translating)
"Love is sweeter when held together by the phantom of a web." That's beautiful. Who said it?
mARGIE
I did... just now.
JONATHAN kisses her gently.
mARGIE (cont'd)
Goodnight, sweet prince.
jONATHAN
Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow.
JONATHAN leaves, as MARGIE stumbles into her apartment.
INT. mARGIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
MARGIE staggers in, breathing hard. She turns on the light and runs over to the bathroom mirror. She stares at herself. She looks at her beautiful face in disbelief. She picks up from the cabinet a computer printout of JONATHAN. She sticks it up on the bathroom mirror and blows it a kiss.
cUT TO:
INT. mANAGEMENT POTENTIAL RESOURCES OFFICE - DAY
MARGIE runs in uncharacteristically late. MICHAEL and BETTY are waiting. The is a beat of silence as they all look at each other.
Michael
So?
MaRGIE
So?
Betty
So?
MaRGIE
So what?
Michael
What happened?
MaRGIE
What?
Michael
(Exasperated)
With Jonathan Mehlinger.
MaRGIE
Nothing.
Michael
Nothing?
MaRGIE
It's none of your business. It's personal.
Michael
No it's not. It's part of our experiment. It's science. You're the second guinea pig. We either have a 100 per cent success rate or 50 per cent. Well?
MaRGIE
He was a perfect gentleman...
(beat)
...but God, was it successful.
Everyone in the office cheers. BETTY takes MARGIE by the arm and leads her away. MARGIE leans back to MICHAEL announcing:
mARGIE (cont'd)
Nothing happened.
Michael
Are you in love?
mARGIE
Of course not.
Betty
(Quietly whispering to MARGIE)
Are you in love?
With a pained, squinched up look MARGIE nods in the affirmative.
mARGIE
(Whispering in reply.)
Desperately.
Betty
Now what?
mARGIE
We have a date tonight.
INT. CORPORATE SEMINAR ROOM
MARGIE is leading the seminar. She's wearing her glasses, but she is a different woman. Her beauty and sexiness overflows as she is brimming with confidence. There is a new authority in her manner and voice. The audience listen with rapt attention.
mARGIE
These results are only the beginning. With a little practice, you will see real changes in your bottom line. We are going to tag your sale results to the changes that you've incorporated into your approach, from the moment you are on the phone until...
JONATHAN enters. MARGIE stops. Everyone turns around to look at JONATHAN. He points to MARGIE and with undisguised delight says:
jONATHAN
Tonight...
INT. VARIOUS SCENES
A montage of scenes of MARGIE and JONATHAN courting. They go to dinners, walk in the park and go to the zoo. They work with underprivileged children. Play touch football with friends. And more. It ends at MARGIE's apartment with a kiss.
INT. mANAGEMENT POTENTIAL RESOURCES OFFICE - DAY
MARGIE is talking to BETTY.
mARGIE
The time is coming.
betty
What do you mean?
mARGIE
He's been a perfect gentleman.
betty
How so?
mARGIE
Perfect.
betty
You mean, you haven't had sex.
mARGIE
He says, he doesn't want to rush anything. He believes in true love.
betty
Incredible. You're sure he's not gay.
mARGIE
No, he's for real.
betty
Hard to believe. But now your saying the time is now.
MARGIE shakes her head. BETTY takes a deep breath realizing what she has to talk about.
bETTY (cont'd)
Well, I was wondering. Are you a ... (She makes a 'V' shape with her fingers, much like a politician might.)
mARGIE
What... what's that?
bETTY
You know... a 'V'... a...
mARGIE
(Incredulously)
A virgin? No, I'm not a virgin...
(reflecting)
...but then again I'm not exactly experienced either.
bETTY
Okay, I'm going to recommend a book. Go get it. Study it. Remember your hallmark is research, research, research.
BETTY scribbles a note on a scrap of paper and hands it to MARGIE.
mARGIE
Got it. Research.
INT. Bookstore
MARGIE is at a giant bookstore. She hovers near the section on human sexuality. She looks for a certain title. She finds it and pulls it out. She opens it at random, looks, and slams it shut.
She goes to the counter and makes her purchase, looking over her shoulder and trying to be as inconspicuous as possible with the clerk.
INT. mARGIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
MARGIE is in bed. She is now dressed in a lovely negligee. She is studying her new book, "Master's and Johnson's book on "Human Sexuality." Classical music is on in the background. She is chewing on her nails as she flips the pages. She is wide-eyed and eventually looks under the covers at her own body to see if it somehow can relate to what she is reading.
INT. mANAGEMENT POTENTIAL RESOURCES OFFICE - DAY
Everyone else is at the office working except MICHAEL. He enters for a with a voluptuous and beautiful woman. They kiss and she leaves. As MICHAEL is walking by, MARGIE tries to be conciliatory. After all, she has her man now too.
mARGIE
Is that Sharon?
MICHALE
Yes, it is.
mARGIE
She seems nice. You should introduce us next time.
Sensing MARGIE's friendliness MICHAEL also warms.
MICHAEL
Okay.
mARGIE
Where did you go?
MICHAEL
We just dropped in on the opening of the new sketches of Picasso exhibit at the Modern Museum of Art.
mARGIE
(Excited)
Really, how was it?
MICHAEL
(Equally enthused)
Great, they had his earliest sketches. You could see what he was doing as a kid. It was amazing to see some of those initial ideas and how they evolved throughout a life time. In some way the sketches are more revealing than anything else he did.
mARGIE
And it was just his sketches.
MICHAEL
Yes, just simple black and white.
mARGIE
You can often tell so much more of how an artist is thinking from those simple drawings. Um, how did Sharon like it.
MICHAEL
She's learning. I mean at least she knows who Picasso is. That was better than Tippi, or Buffy, or Mimi.
mARGIE
Good. I'm glad it's going well. Actually Jonathan owns three Picasso originals... and a Matisse.... a Paul Klee.
MICHAEL
He collects...
mARGIE
Well, they're also good investments, hedges against inflation.
MICHAEL
I see. Margie, I just want to say... I know it's not been easy between us lately. But you know we're friends, I... I guess both of us have been going through a lot of changes.
mARGIE
I know, I know. You know this program is powerful stuff. You can't change as dramatically as we have without some stuff inside getting thrown around too.
MICHAEL
Let's be friends.
mARGIE
Yeah, that's great.
MICHAEL
Good. Because I just wanted to say that I'm concerned about you and Jonathan.
mARGIE
(Getting riled)
What?
MICHAEL
From an outside perspective. It just seems like you're working out an Oedipal fantasy.
mARGIE
(Really angry)
Oedipal fantasy.
MICHAEL
Look I know. After an entire lifetime of rejection... you're very open to the first guy who comes along. One is unprepared, you can easily project your archetype subconscious animus onto the first warm body that shows up. You don't really love Jonathan.
mARGIE
If you can work out your years of rejection by screwing every little girl whose name ends in "i", you can at least give me the opportunity to work out my years of rejection and humiliation through pursuing my one true love, knight in shining armor fantasy. Hell, do you really love Sharon?
They glare at each other and look away.
fADE TO:
JONATHAN'S APARTMENT - EVENING
It's the big night at Jonathan's apartment. The place is large with spectacular views of the New York skyline and furnished in a way befitting a young Master of the Universe. The walls a lined with paintings of famous artists. MARGIE is trying not to gawk.
JONATHAN
This is an original sketch by Rembrandt and one of my favorites. Paul Machaut, the art historian, thinks it was on of the first sketches for his "Admiring the Bust of Aristotle". Two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars for one piece of paper.
MARGIE
Really? That's your Klee?
JONATHAN comes up behind MARGIE and puts his arms around her waist.
jONATHAN
Like it?
MARGIE
It's beautiful.
He turns her around.
jONATHAN
But not as beautiful as you.
He kisses her. He leads her into another room.
INT. JONATHAN's Bedroom -evening
JONATHAN's bedroom is huge and spectacular. A king size bed dominates, more art lines the walls. It overlooks a panoramic view of the city.
mARGIE
Ah, the inner sanctum. The hidden lair for the Master of the Universe.
jONATHAN
Like the view?
MARGIE walks to the full-length window.
mARGIE
Any peeping toms up here?
They turn and look at each other and kiss. JONATHAN leads her to his bed. Slowly and delicately they disrobe. A romantic and discrete scene of lovemaking ensues.
A few moments after they have finished making love, JONATHAN and MARGIE are lying in bed.
jONATHAN
That was incredible. You're the best lover I've ever known.
Margie
(Incredulously)
I am?
jONATHAN
You did things I've only read about in books.
mARGIE
I know. Me too.
jONATHAN
Smart really is better. I've been with intelligent women before. But you're not only the smartest, the most beautiful and the sexiest. But you're really more than that. You're special.
mARGIE
I know, I'm a cheat and a fake.
jONATHAN
Tell me, how are you cheat and a fake.
mARGIE
Well, first I went through you're confidential files. That's how I knew you loved Shakespeare and that Chateau de Borigion was your favorite wines.
jONATHAN
I know you did. I knew you had access, so what. I went through your files. Hey, I'm the president of the company. We had a lot of research on you. I went through every scrap.
mARGIE
You did?
jONATHAN
Fair is fair.
mARGIE
But I'm also a fake and you're not. You really are everything you seem to be. Strong, handsome, successful, authoritative. I really am that mousy Dr. Warshavsky. All this beauty,sexiness is just an act. I'm making it up. It's just because I took my own gender expansion program that we were developing.
jONATHAN
(Amused)
So all that moaning was fake? (Squeezing her)
Well, I think I'll be the judge of what is fake and what's real.
mARGIE
What about all those woman like Melanie. Gorgeous, big breasts... and a Ph.D.
jONATHAN
Let me tell you about woman like Melanie. Most beautiful women I know, know it, they've grown up having men fawn all over them. They just presume that they have a power that is theirs. They can be smart, sensitive, It's not that their even conceited or arrogant. They just know that men will do anything for them.
MArGIE
I know. It's seems really stupid.
jONATHAN
But you don't take anything for granted. You appreciate everything. I tell you you're dress is pretty and your thrilled. You sip a glass of wine likes it the most precious elixir in the world. It's wonderful to be around. I think you have shown me what the key to happiness is... how to truly appreciate what you have. And that you do very well. I've watched you looking at yourself in a mirror. You seem to be more amazed at the way you look than I am.
MARGIE
That's probably true.
jONATHAN
And it's why I love you.
MARGIE
Love? You said love.
jONATHAN
Yes, I did.
MARGIE
You love me?
JOnATHAN
Yes, why not?
Margie
(Exclaiming)
Wow, Jonathan Mehlinger loves me.
jONATHAN
And I'll tell you what else. If this computer program changes you from Dr. Warshavsky into Supergirl, first thing in the morning we're going to be looking into some serious investing possibilities. On top of everything, you're going to be very rich.
MARGIE
Rich too?
jONATHAN
You're incredible. I love you. Do you love me?
Margie
(Taken aback for a beat)
Of course I do.
JONATHAN embraces and kisses her, beginning another bout of lovemaking. The camera fades out.
Later that night JONATHAN is blissfully asleep. MARGIE is wide awake looking up at the ceiling, mouthing to herself, as if she's trying to convince herself.
mARGIE (cont'd)
Jonathan Mehlinger loves me. Jonathan Mehlinger loves me.Jonathan Mehlinger loves me.
INT. mANAGEMENT POTENTIAL RESOURCES OFFICE - DAY
MARGIE walks stiffly into the office, looking sleepy. BETTY sees her and quickly escorts into her area.
bETTY
Obviously quite a night.
mARGIE
More than that. He wants to see again tonight. He's got something important he wants to talk about.
bETTY
You're kidding. Already. Do you think he's ready to... you know.
mARGIE
I don't know. But he says he's a man that once he's sure of something he makes quick decisions and goes for it. It's the secret of his success. Decisiveness and action. That's a quote.
bETTY
Well, what was it like?
mARGIE
I think it was Heaven, but then again I don't have much to compare it too. Also, we have an assignment. He wants to look into the Gender Management Program as a serious business opportunity. It seems my progress made a big impression.
bETTY
For real.
mARGIE
Very much for real. When it comes to money Jonathan doesn't kid around. In fact, I've got to go talk to our partner. Is the monster in?
bETTY
He's here.
mARGIE
How is he doing?
bETTY
Good. He's settling down. He's got a steady girl. He's becoming almost normal.
mARGIE
Okay, I'll go see if I can have a conversation with him.
INT. MICHAEL's OFFICE
MARGIE knocks and sticks her head in.
mARGIE
Can I come in?
miCHAEL
Sure.
MARGIE enters and sits down.
micHAEL (cont'd)
I'm sorry I acted the way I did yesterday. I was way out of line. It was none of my business.
mARGIE
That's okay. I guess it was your way of showing concern.
micHAEL
So how's it going with Jonathan.
mARGIE
Great. He's really somebody special. He's sweet and loving, wants a family, loves children, has a home in the country, apartment of 5th Avenue, does charity work. And... (MARGIE trails off.)
micHAEL
And what?
mARGIE
I don't know.
micHAEL
Is it love?
mARGIE
I don't know. I thought love would be a lot more obvious than this.
micHAEL
Maybe love is more than science.
mARGIE
You know he's so rich, he talks about money a lot. That's what you do when you're rich.
micHAEL
Could be worse.
mARGIE
And you and Sharon?
micHAEL
Good. She's a top model. Very sweet.And really seems to love me. We've really been going out for a few weeks now. We're an item. I have a girlfriend. It takes a little getting use to.
mARGIE
I know what you mean. What happened to your great theory?
micHAEL
What theory?
mARGIE
Trading cards. You know where you were going to trade your big brains for big breasts. It seems to me you made yourself beautiful to get those breasts.
micHAEL
It took brains to get there.
mARGIE
Yeah, but it seems to me that it took both beauty and brains to get just beauty.
micHAEL
Sharon's really smart.
mARGIE
Umm, well I came in to talk about something different though. Jonathan has become intrigued with our new Gender Management program. He's been impressed my progress and is he's serious about investing. He actually thinks there's money to be made in our little hat trick. And we have to do a lot of work to get it ready for a presentation.
Instead of getting excited like MARGIE is, MICHAEL hesitates.
MICHAEL
We can't.
MaRGIE
Why not?
MICHAEL
The assessment is a sham. It doesn't work at all. It never did. I just made up it up. I know you did the research, but I was just goofing. There's nothing to it. Everything that happened to you, to me is because it was always in there in the first place. You were always beautiful... and sexy. It was you.
Margie
Well, in a sense of course it's true. But didn't the program help develop it.
MICHAEL
I don't think so. It's much simpler. We're programmers. We wanted to believe that it was the program. Somewhere along the way you learned how to play the role of a nerd. And I got good at the part of a geek. Hell, I could have won the Academy Award for Best Geek of the Year. But it was a role.
Margie
And it's a part, frankly, that I miss.
MICHAEL
I can still be an idiot if you like.
Margie
I doubt it.
MICHAEL
Oh yeah. How about my authentic imitation of the Giant Borneo Orangutan in heat.
mARGIE
No, you can't. You're too fancy now.
MICHAEL
Yes, I can.
Margie
You wouldn't.
MICHAEL starts howling and jumping on the desk like a maniac
MARGie
And don't think I've lost the old Warshavsky nerdiness. I can still do my rendition of a Ugandan mountain gorilla.
MARGIE responds like a gorilla. Both jumping and screaming. From outside of the office the rest of the staff looks at MICHAEL's office, shaking their heads. MICHAEL settles down and continues.
miCHAEL
And then there are those guys who learn to be a stud, some girls become sluts. And some grow up to be Jonathan Mehlingers. It's just a role. What we proved was that by showing someone the possibility of what they might become, and with a little practice, you can put on a different role. Take on another part.
Margie
"All the world is a stage. . .
miCHAEL
and we are merely players upon it."
They look at each other with a warmth and affection.
Margie
I still think the program works...
miCHAEL
It's a great idea. But it's just not a computer software program.
A moment of silence where they look at each other in a new way.
Margie
You know, I miss the old days.
miCHAEL
Before we were overly dependent on each other. Today we've grown and expanded...but we'll always be friends. So good luck with Jonathan. I hope you really will be happy.
Margie
Thank you. And the same for you. I've got to go. Having dinner tonight with Jonathan at Le Cirque.
They get up and hug affectionately.
INT. expensive french restaurant
A beautiful candlelit table in a expensive French Restaurant. MARGIE and JONATHAN are finishing an exquisite meal. Over their final aperitif, JONATHAN takes out of his pocket a small black box that he places on the table and pushes towards MARGIE. She picks it up and opens it. It is a glittering and very expensive diamond ring. She is genuinely surprised.
mARGIE
What's this?
jONATHAN
A diamond ring.
mARGIE
It's very nice... but why?
JONATHAN takes her hand and lovingly looks at her.
jONATHAN
Will you marry me?
Despite the question JONATHAN's attitude is filled with confidence that his question will be answered affirmatively.
Suddenly something comes over MARGIE. Her eyes blink like she's waking from a dream. She pulls her hand away and responds automatically without thinking,
MARGIE
"No, I can't marry you."
JONATHAN is equally as surprised, but presumes this is a mere temporary setback that he can easily overcome. It's just a minor objection to his sales pitch
Jonathan
"Why not?"
mARGIE
"I DON T KNOW."
JONATHAN moves forward for the close.
jONATHAN
I'm successful.
MARGIE
(MARGIE nods in agreement)
Yes.
jONATHAN
I'm good looking.
MARGIE
Yes.
JONATHAN
We have great sex.
MARGIE nods in agreement.
jONATHAN (cont'd)
I love children and want to have a family. I want to take care of you. There is nothing more than I want then to make you happy. I'll take you to Paris for our honeymoon. Margie, this is a dream that is about to come true.
JONATHAN is earnest now. He takes her hand moving in for the close.
jONATHAN (cont'd)
So will you marry me?
MARGIE pulls her hand back, thinks but for a second and responds:
MaRGIE
Absolutely not.
jONATHAN
(Surprised)
Why not?
MARGIE hesitates.
jONATHAN (cont'd)
Why not? I want to know your objection.
MaRGIE
Honestly?
jONATHAN
Yes, honestly.
MaRGIE
Well, frankly Jonathan dearest... You're boring. I mean probably not to everybody... just to me. I'm sure most people believe you're fascinating. I can't believe I'm saying this.
As MARGIE continues she becomes more and more animated.
mARGIE (cont'd)
But.. I mean, do you know the difference between Quadratic equations and trigonometric functions of non-Euclidean geometry?
jONATHAN
No.
mARGIE
Do you even care that Proust was the ultimate founder of post-modernism in contemporary literature...
jONATHAN
Of course not.
mARGIE
...or, or that C programming is the basic core of contemporary technology and has serious implications for the cultural future of mankind...
jONATHAN
I haven't really considered...
mARGIE
...or that if Mozart had lived even only ten more years the course of music would be totally different... or that Renaissance painting has a direct correlation to the revival of photo realism in modern art... or that mankind is at the brink of total annihilation in so some many ways that I can't even think about it.
JONATHAN sits back in stunned silence.
mARGIE (cont'd)
Look, Jonathan.. and I'll probably regret doing this... you're really sweet and all, but I'm 29 years old. My life expectancy can be calculated at 88.7 years. That means I can expect to live 58 and 234 more days,,, and if I don't smoke and eat my vegetables it will even be longer and the thought of spending all that time looking out of a window in Greenwich, Connecticut, even if there's a sailboat and we have three perfect children, I'll go absolutely crazy. Don't you see... it would be so dull. I'm not the right women for you. I'm sorry.
MARGIE is all discombobulated. As she gets up to leave, she puts the ring in the box and hands it back to him.
mARGIE (cont'd)
I'm sorry, I've got to go.
She rushes out of the restaurant.
EXT. Streets of MANHATTAN - NIGHT
MARGIE runs out of the restaurant and hails a cab. She jumps in.
mARGIE
85th Street and Amsterdam.
The taxi speeds through the streets of Manhattan.
EXT. OUTSIDE MICHAEL's apartment - NIGHT
The taxi screeches to a halt. MARGIE pays and jumps out of the cab. Once at MICHAEL's front door, she tries to get herself together before insistently ringing the bell. MICHAEL is heard on the other side of the door's intercom, sheepishly inquiring who it is.
MICHAEL
Who is it?
MARGIE
It's Margie. Let me in.
MiCHAEL
I'm busy.
MARGIE
It's an emergency, let me in.
MICHAEL relents and buzzes her in. MARGIE dashes up the stairs.
INT. mICHAEL'S APARTMENT - Night
MICHAEL opens his apartment door and MARGIE storms in. MICHAEL's apartment is now the epitome of cool elegant bachelorhood. And he's well-groomed and handsome. On the couch is SHARON,in her Super Model glamour. MARGIE takes one look at her and barks:
MARGIE
Get out of here.
SHARON is stunned. She stands up and goes on the defensive filled with knowledge that her tall, cool beauty is enough to intimidate any women. MARGIE responds with sneering sarcasm.
maRGIE (cont'd)
Don't even try... I've taken more passive-aggressive training seminars than you could even count, six months of Karate, and given over two hundred self-esteem enhancement seminars. You don't have a prayer. Scram.
(MARGIE realizes she's being a little overly dramatic)
Okay, I know I'm being rude and little over the up here. I'm sorry, but please I need to talk to MICHAEL alone.
SHARON looks over to MICHAEL. He just shrugs his shoulders. SHARON picks up her coat.They quietly confer as to where they might meet later.
MICHAEL
Cafe Monaco. Give me 20 minutes. I'll see you there.
SHARON leaves. With the competition gone, MARGIE turns her full energy on MICHAEL. She storms over jabbing him in the chest with her finger. He tries to back away.
mARGIE
YOU'RE A JERK. FIRST OF ALL YOU'RE A SLOB
(MICHAEL's apartment is clean and tidy.)
You, you dress like a nerd, you wear pens in your pocket.
(MICHAEL is dressed in the epitome of Ivy League fashion.)
You even smell funny. What is that smell?"
MICHAEL
Pierre Cardin's Eau de Cologne.
maRGIE
You're overly intellectual, you're totally out of touch with your feelings, you're immature, childish. You wouldn't know love if you stepped in it, you're overweight and you don't exercise and have lousy posture...
(MICHAEL stands tall and with masculine power.)
... and you have lousy taste in women."
MARGIE is finally spent, sputtering in frustration. In this moment of temporary silence, MICHAEL softens and says in response to the last accusation:
miCHAEL
I know.
mARGIE
You know?
Their eyes meet, the electricity connects. MICHAEL continues:
MiCHAEL
My taste in women is the worst.
They come closer, ready to break through their years of asexual friendship and finally kiss. Just before their lips meet, the doorbell rings. Someone starts banging at the door.
jONATHAN (O.S.)
(From behind the door)
Margie, I know you're in there. Let me in.
maRGIE
(Quietly to Michael)
Oh, my God, it's Jonathan.
jONATHAN
Let me in. Or I'll break it down.
Even more violent knocking on the door.
mARGIE
What'll we do?
miCHAEL
Let him in. I've have 6 weeks of Karate behind me.
mARGIE
Jonathan's a 5th degree Black belt.
miCHAEL
Okay, maybe discretion is the better part valor for the moment. Quick down the fire escape.
mARGIE
You're kidding.
miCHAEL
No, come on. It'll be fun.
MICHAEL leads MARGIE to the window opens it and helps MARGIE onto the fire escape. Just as they are about to duck out, MICHAEL yells:
miCHAEL (cont'd)
Jonathan, could you check out Cafe Monaco. You will find a tall, beautiful blonde there. Tell her Michael said hello.
EXT. Fire escape of michael's apartment - night
MICHAEL and MARGIE scamper down the fire escape, continuing their conversation breathlessly.
mARGIE
Why did you say that to Jonathan?
miCHAEL
That's where Sharon is waiting. I thought she would make a good consolation prize.
mARGIE
Michael, what are we going to do? This could ruin our entire relationship with Schuller Investments.
miCHAEL
Maybe... but I doubt it. Capitalism will prevail. As long as they think we can make them money, the Board of Directors will insist we work for them.
They reach the bottom and MICHAEL jumps to the street. He catches MARGIE as she jumps.
miCHAEL (cont'd)
We may have to lie low for a while. But we can hire more people to do the workshops.
Out of breath they look at each other.
mARGIE
Now what?
miCHAEL
We better get out of here before Jonathan figures out where we are.
maRGIE
Good idea.
miCHAEL
I know this great disco. Do you want to go?
mARGIE
Yeah.
They run down the block hand in hand,
fadE TO:
INT. DISCO - NIGHT
MARGIE and MICHAEL dance the night away. They are now the epitome of the beautiful, sensual couple, deeply attracted to each other. In the pounding music and lights of the disco, their bodies are entwined, coming closer and closer. Their faces are flushed with the sexual energy of the dance. They look at each other, a moment of intense quiet. They consider the moment, before their first kiss.
mARGIE
(Yelling over the music)
Michael...
miCHAEL
(Yelling back)
Yes?
mARGIE
This is getting really boring.
miCHAEL
Yeah, I agree
maRGIE
Did you know they're doing all six Brandenburg Concertos tonight at St. John the Divine.
miCHAEL
Really?
maRGIE
With Neville Mariner conducting.
miCHAEL
You're kidding.
maRGIE
Nope.
miCHAEL
Come on. Let's get out of here.
cut TO:
INT. CATHEDRAL INTERIOr
We cut to a close-up of MARGIE and MICHAEL kissing passionately, the music of Bach's Brandenburg Concerto #2 is playing in the background. The camera pans out to the scene of the Cathedral where we see the backdrop of the orchestra playing, the rest of the audience in the pews listening intently.
MONTAGE
As the music continues we watch scenes of MICHAEL and MARGIE romantically involved. They are the quintessential beautiful couple in love.
Playing frisbee in Central Park.
They have a romantic dinner.
They walk through Times Square at Night.
They dance at the plaza of Lincoln Center, an elegant Tango.
INT. MICHAEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
MICHAEL and MARGIE are working at MICHAEL's computer. They are now dressed casually and both wearing their glasses. Though reverted back to their former ways they are obviously still very attractive. They are animatedly discussing some arcane computer problem.
MARGIE
No, the Q factor potentials don't come close.
miCHAEL
You're all wet. These algorithms are right on the mark.
MARGIE
No they're not. The vector analysis is cockamamie ca-ca.
MICHAEL
Is not..
MARGIE
Is too...
MICHAEL
Not...
Their disagreement escalates and in a snit of frustration, MARGIE swings a computer manual at MICHAEL. They fall over laughing and kiss once more. Their glasses bang together, which they throw off and continue their passionate buss.
fADE OUT.
THE END